Box Turtle Bulletin

The First Picture I Ever Took

It’s not too late to submit your essay about what your father means to you. As I said before, you can do it any way you like: It can be an essay, a poem, photos, video, podcast — whatever motivates you. It can be about your father, your grandfather, your neighbor’s father, your stepfather, your kid’s father, or your favorite father figure.

We’ve gotten three so far, from Tony K. and Garrett and Ben. Yours could be next. Just send it to Superdad@boxturtlebulletin.com between now and midnight Sunday night. The best submission gets a T-shirt.

I mentioned earlier that we have very few pictures of my dad, simply because he was always the one taking the pictures. Like this one of me (left, about six years old) and my younger brother (right) playing in the back yard. Who knows why he decided to go outside and take this picture. Maybe he just wanted to finish up a roll and get it developed. Who knows?

But what I do remember is that it was an unusually bright, spring day, and that we were going to move soon to the town that I would eventually regard as my home town. I also remember on that spring day that I didn’t want my picture taken, but I did want to take a picture of my dad.

And so I asked him. “Dad, can I take your picture? Please?”

Now like I said, he took all the pictures. He had a brand new Kodak Instamatic, a fancy jobber with an automatic winder. This baby was his camera. And so I also remember the sense of awesome responsibility I felt as he carefully placed it into my two small hands, wrapped the cord around my wrist so I wouldn’t drop it, and showed me how to slowly, slowly press the shutter so the camera wouldn’t jerk and take a blurry picture.

And so there I was — with my dad’s camera! — ready to take my very first photo.

And there you have it. The very first picture I ever took. That look on his face? I think he’s still worried that I’m going to drop his camera, but he let me take the picture anyway. Because that’s the way he was, worried sometimes but supportive always.

So, what about your dad?

Update: My goodness, I just looked at the calendar. It was twenty-five years ago today that dad passed away. He’s much loved and much missed still.

Ann Barnett Annoys Local Bakersfield Media

Anti-gay Kern County Clerk Ann K. Barnett is making no friends in Bakersfield. She’s royally annoyed the local Channel 29 Eyewitness News by denying them the ability to videotape where they had in the past and then calling the police on them. And she’s infuriating the local County Counsel by stubbornly refusing to follow his legal advice and to cooperate with media.

She’s refering everyone to the Alliance Defense Fund.

There’s no question that Barnett is anti-gay. But she’s also just not very bright. Every time she opens her mouth the local news shows that she’s lying. Check out the articles and the two video Eyewitness News reports.

See also:
Kern Co. Supervisors Reject Anti-Gay Ordinance
Calaveras County Joins Kern and Butte
Barnett Breaks Her Media Silence – Stupidly, of Course
Chad Vegas – Kern Co. School Board Trustee’s Double Standard
Ann Barnett Annoys Local Bakersfield Media
Two More California Counties Stop Officiating at Weddings
CA Anti-Gays Either Completely Idiotic or Shameless Liars
No Non-Religious Marriages in Kern County
A Voice of Reason in Kern Co.
Kern Co. (Bakersfield) Clerk Ann K. Barnett Cancels Straight Weddings
More Bakersfield Bigotry
Bakersfield – Not a Place to Plan Your Wedding

Randy Thomasson Takes his Wackiness to Court

Judges must shudder when they see the Campaign for Children and Families heading their way. Their filings are much more about public display and appeal to donors than they are about the law.

Consider the most recent bit of nonsense.

The Campaign for Children and Families is asking the San Francisco-based 1st District Court of Appeal to block county clerks from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, arguing that the Legislature needs time to change various laws regulating marriages in California.

Say what?

Well here’s the logic of CCF’s Randy Thomasson: because the Supreme Court directed the District Court of Appeal to administer the ruling, then they can just ignore the Supreme Court’s effective date and decide on their own to hold everyone up until they get around to it some time in the distant future.

Ummm. Nope.

The 1st District is bound by Supreme Court precedent, but Randy Thomasson, the campaign’s president, said the appeals court must step in and “prevent the legal chaos of same-sex marriages about to erupt in California.” Any decision from the 1st District can be appealed to the state Supreme Court.

Now Randy isn’t the brightest tool in the shed, but even he should be able to see that District courts don’t rank over Supreme courts.

Civil rights lawyers dismissed the legal move as “frivolous.”

“This is a nonevent,” said Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights. “It will have no effect.”

But Randy got his name in print again. And now some judge has to read this crap and pretend like it is a legitimate filing.

A Small Story

This Father’s Day message is from Ben. You can also see Father’s Day Messages from Tony K. and Garrett.

This is just a small story.

I was raised by my biological family. My family was (and is) not just a little bit strange — ironically, I think I am the only one of four children that did not come out damaged. My Dad was OK — a good man with strong values and a good mind. He raised me properly, and I think I turned out well. But something was missing with him — I suspect it was what I call the gay Oedipus thing. My Dad recognized that I was very different from him (or entirely too similar to–take your pick) , and so we were perhaps not as close as we could have been, though we certainly had a decent relationship.

When I was 13, I met the boy who became my best friend, and his family became my family. I would escape there every weekend that I could. What a world of difference in how I was perceived and treated! John’s father, Dick, became a second father to me, in many ways, the father I always wanted, though he was far crazier in a lot of ways than my own father. His wife, Virginia, similarly became the mother I always wanted– loving and kind and supportive, not even just a little bit crazy, unlike my mother. They were the ones who showed up for my senior year choral concert– my own parents didn’t like classical music, and couldn’t be bothered. In all ways, Dick and Virginia were great parents to me, as they were with their own children.

Dick and Virginia were also very conservative and Christian. During the Watts riots, he said if “they” came near his house, he’d pull out his shotgun, sit on the front lawn and “pick off his limit”. Yes, THAT conservative.

For this reason, I was very hesitant to tell them I was gay. They were in fact the very last people I told, and I told them because I had made the commitment to myself that there would be no more lies. If I lost them, then I lost lost them.

So, I wrote them a long letter explaining the whole thing. I few weeks later, I received a response. Their words have always been engraved on my heart:

“It makes no difference to us. You are our son and we love you. We’re glad you loved us enough to tell us.”

Do you have something you want to share for father’s day? Please send it to Superdad@boxturtlebulletin.com.

What Is A Young Gay Man’s Life Worth?

About a year and a half, with parole.

That’s the sentence that Stephen Moller received today for the death of Sean Kennedy. Sean, 20, was attacked outside a Greenville County, S.C. bar on May 16, 2007. Witnesses said that Moller shouted anti-gay epithets at Kennedy before attacking him. Sean died of his injuries.

Moller was originally charged with murder, but the grand jury reduced the charge to involuntary manslaughter. Moller pleaded guilty to those reduced charges and was sentenced to five years, reduced to three, minus seven months for time served. Moller’s attorney said that when all is said and done, Moller will probably serve about a year and a half.

In a statement in court today, Moller shirked responsibility for his crime, saying:

“I wish that young people weren’t allowed to be out late at night and the bars were not allowed to serve them alcohol. I think if that hadn’t taken place, we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be here today.”

But contrast Moller’s statement to the court with his taunting phone call to a friend of Sean’s fifteen minutes after the assault:

Hey. (laughter) Whoa stop. (laughter) Hey, I was just wondering how your boyfriend’s feeling right about now. (laughter) (??) knocked the f— out. (laughter). The f—— faggot. He ought to never stick his mother-f—— nose (??) Where are you going? Just a minute. (laughter). Yea boy, your boy is knocked out, man. The mother——-. Tell him he owes me $500.00 for breaking my god—- hand on his teeth that f—— bitch”

Involuntary manslaughter. A year and a half.

Elke Kennedy, Sean’s mother, reacted this way:

“There was no justice today for Sean. The sentence that Stephen Moller received, in my opinion, is a joke and a slap on the wrist. Once again, it proves that in South Carolina there is no justice.”

South Carolina has no hate crime law covering sexual orientation. But hey, South Carolina Equality points out that torturing animals can get you five years in prison.

Killing a gay man? Half that.

Ms. Kennedy is right. There is no justice today.

Norway Becomes Sixth Nation to Provide Marriage Equality

According to GayMormonBoy, who happens to read Norwegian, same-sex marriage has now passed the Parliament in Norway.

They join

Netherlands – 2001
Belgium – 2003
Canada – 2005
Spain – 2005
South Africa – 2006

UPDATE

Pink News is confirming the news with an article in English

Two More California Counties Stop Officiating at Weddings

Shortly after Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett decided to block all civil weddings, two more California counties announced they would stop conducting civil weddings.

Butte County
The San Jose Mercury News reports

Butte County Clerk Candace Grubbs says the county can’t afford to continue performing wedding ceremonies. About 200 couples a year marry at the clerk’s office.

Grubbs said her decision has nothing to do with the California Supreme Court’s ruling last month legalizing gay marriage.

Although this seems suspect to me (Butte is a conservative county and voted 69% in favor of Proposition 22), Dagon (posting at Pam’s House Blend) spoke with Ms. Grubbs and believes her to be sincere.

After the Primary Election, her office found itself in a budget crunch. They had to leave positions unfilled. She had to look at all the duties of her job and see what she could NOT do and get by. Wedding ceremonies are a “may” ,not a “must do” for Clerk-Recorders. Plus, Ms. Grubbs sees herself as in competition with the private sector … not only religious folks, but also non-religious folk AND the “deputies for a day.”

In California, for a small fee through Ms. Grubbs office, ANYONE may officiate at a single wedding. They apply, get trained in how to fill out the paper work, and officiate at the one wedding. Way cool. Ms. Grubbs thinks this is so much more personal and pleasant an option than one of her staff, unknown to the couple, officiating at the nuptials.

Ms. Grubbs, then, is operating differently from Ms. Barnett who is refusing to authorize anyone to perform civil marriages.

Merced County
Merced County Auditor-Clerk Stephen Jones tried to play the Barnett game. But, like Barnett, his real intentions were revealed. The Modesto Bee:

In an interview Friday morning, Jones said his decision to stop performing weddings wasn’t made to avoid marrying same sex couples.

“This wasn’t about my beliefs on the issue,” Jones said.

Instead, he cited staffing and space shortages, saying his office no longer has the room or the people to perform marriages.

But those pesky emails revealed that Jones cherishes family values more than he does truth.

On Friday afternoon, the Sun-Star obtained an e-mail that seemed to discount Jones’ explanation that his office lacked space for marriage ceremonies.

Jones sent an e-mail Thursday morning to Dee Tatum, county chief executive officer, and the Board of Supervisors outlining his decision to stop performing weddings.

In his response, sent before Jones announced plans to stop performing marriages, Tatum wrote, “If space is a problem, then certainly we can make (room) 301 available and 310, as well as the board chambers when it is not in use.”

Tatum added, “I would suggest before you take this step to see if this is legally defensible. I place no value on whether marriages are right or wrong or should be conducted or not. We, the organization, will certainly be asked why after all these years we have taken this step.”

Although Tatum made his offer before Jones announced that he was stopping marriages, when the truth came out he suddenly discovered that his office could perform marriages after all.

Kings County
The county clerk in Kings County is relying on a technicality to try and sidestep the ruling of the state Supreme Court. (AP)

[I]n its May 15 decision the state Supreme Court also directed a midlevel appeals court that upheld the state’s one man-one woman marriage laws a year ago to issue a new order legalizing same-sex marriage, and it’s not clear when the appeals court must comply.

[T]he clerk in Kings County has indicated he does not plan to grant the new licenses, which say “Party A” and “Party B” where “bride” and “groom” used to be, until the Court of Appeals takes that step. Kings County’s legal counsel had advised the clerk to wait until the appeals court acts.

Kings County has posted a notice on its Web site saying it does “not anticipate any changes in our current marriage license procedures until such time as the lower court’s implementation rulings take effect.”

Kings County Clerk Ken Baird did not respond to a call seeking comment.

Bogus Budgetary Claims
Stephen Weir, president of the California Association of Clerks and Election Officials scoffs at the claims by some county clerks about their budget causing them to deny civil marriages.

Contrary to the claim from Kern County that the ceremonies are a drain on resources, Weir said they make money for county coffers. Weir also serves as clerk in Contra Costa County.

“It is a financial plus,” said Weir, whose office makes $72,000 a year solemnizing marriages at $60 a pop. “It’s something you can do fairly easily, pays its own way and is a service you are providing to your customer.”

Of course, Weir is very excited about the change in wedding licensing for a personal reason.

He and his partner, John Hemm, want to be first at the counter that day. They plan to be the first to exchange vows and kisses in the conference room Weir converted into a wedding chapel that hosts 1,200 couples a year, but that he could never use.

“I’ve waited all of this time to be able to walk into my own office and stand in line and pay what used to be $64 and now is $85 to buy a license and have a ceremony,” says Weir, who also is president of the state clerks association.

“It’s a big deal.”

See also:
Kern Co. Supervisors Reject Anti-Gay Ordinance
Calaveras County Joins Kern and Butte
Barnett Breaks Her Media Silence – Stupidly, of Course
Chad Vegas – Kern Co. School Board Trustee’s Double Standard
Ann Barnett Annoys Local Bakersfield Media
Two More California Counties Stop Officiating at Weddings
CA Anti-Gays Either Completely Idiotic or Shameless Liars
No Non-Religious Marriages in Kern County
A Voice of Reason in Kern Co.
Kern Co. (Bakersfield) Clerk Ann K. Barnett Cancels Straight Weddings
More Bakersfield Bigotry
Bakersfield – Not a Place to Plan Your Wedding

Do You Know How To Say “I Do” In Norwegian?

If you do, then maybe you can confirm if this Norwegian news outlet is reporting that Parliament has passed the same-sex marriage bill in a late night vote.

At any rate, I do know that the bill came up for debate on Wednesday, and was expected to pass Wednesday evening — and it’s still Wednesday evening in Oslo. On August 1, 1993, Norway became the second Scandinavian country to provide for same-sex registered partnerships.

TiVo’s FOTF Web Page: Did It Stay Or Did It Go?

The plot thickens. Some people report that TiVo’s web site promoting FOTF’s affiliation returns a “page not found” error, while others say it loads fine for them. It’s a mystery. Here are some questions we’d like you to answer in the comments:

1. Does TiVo’s page load for you?

2. Is this the first time you tried accessing the web page at TiVo?

3. Did you clear your browsers’ cache and/or deleted cookies? Do you get a different result if you do?

4. Please specify which browser, operating system, and internet provider is giving you your results.

And here’s something else to try. When I click on this link, I get redirected to this page, which gives me the “page not found” error. Someone else wrote that the first page loaded up fine for them, but  they noticed the two different URL’s. So they went to the second link manually and got the same “page not found error.” But after visiting that second link once, now the first link won’t load for them. Any ideas?

“Thanks Dad!”

This Father’s Day message is from Tony K.

My father was an “old fashioned” man. After returning from a long army posting abroad he and my mother were strangers, so they had me to keep them together. It’s not strange that I ended up as a couples therapist.

He learned parenting from his father but decided that he wasn’t going to submit me to the continual brutal beatings that he’d had. Insteadhe needed to toughen me up — after all I was going to have to fight as a soldier, just like he had. Softness of any sort was going to leave me vulnerable and hurt. He didn’t want that. When I was three he decided not to touch me except in anger. To drag, push or hit. He never cuddled, held, praised or showed affection. It’s not that he didn’t love me. The experiences he’d had in Burma and India were so bad that wanted me strong and independent. This was his way of loving.

When he did touch me I would often end up on the other side of the room. I was terrified of him.

When I went to college he told me that I could never return to be at home with my family. I’d left them for an education and would never be able to part of them again. He was proud of me but terribly sad.

On a visit back I came out to my parents. He was standing in the kitchen by the sink. He went silent.

Then he opened his arms, stepped towards me and hugged me for the first time in twenty years. “You’re my son. I will always love you,” and then he went upstairs.

Later I introduced him to my boyfriend. Boyfriend? We’ve been together for thirty years. He and Dad shook hands and I saw my father change.

He loved hugs, he hugged me, my friends, my partner. He trusted Bryan to run his finances, give him advice, and he laughed with him, with me.

So often we do things in love that are totally wrong. My childhood was a nightmare of fear and terror. Not because he didn’t love me but that he loved and hoped so much that he wanted me never to hurt. He toughened me up.

It worked.

Genetics be damned. I learned to be very strong. Anyone who hurts my family, my friends, my people, my children finds out that I won’t stand for it.

I’m walking down the street. It’s “Fantasy Fest” in Key West. I have a friend on each arm — hell, I have a drag queen on each arm. Not, I have to say, very pretty ones and they keep falling off their heels. There’s a group a straight couples on a corner and as we pass they shout out something nasty. One of the girls pushes me forward. “Go get ’em Tony.”

I step forward. The straight couples run, the women squealing, the men (overweight and drunk) dive for doorways, run across the street. One is sick with fear.

“Thanks Dad!” I say.

He taught me to stick up for myself. I’ve been arrested on marches, sacked from jobs, attacked on streets, in buses, at libraries, bars, boats and bookshops. None of it hurts, not really. I’ve rescued
children, battered women, chained animals, abused gay teenagers, elderly people, the disadvantaged, distressed and derided.

“Thanks Dad!”

Do you have something you want to share for father’s day? Please send it to Superdad@boxturtlebulletin.com.

TiVo Pulls Web Page Promoting FOTF’s SuperDads Contest

Apparently, TiVo has been getting a lot of grief over the TiVo/Focus On the Family SuperDads contest. That’s the contest where everyone is supposed to submit an essay explaining why their dad is a “SuperDad,” with winners throughout the month of June receiving free TiVo’s. The problem is that several LGBT folks have been submitting essays explaining why their dads are SuperDads, only to find their submissions disappear into the ether. This has prompted tons of complaints to TiVo, as well as an online petition at the Family Equality Council.

Partnering to promote a discriminatory contest in which LGBT contestants are silently disqualified can set the company afoul of several states’ anti-discrimination laws — nevermind the public relations fiasco this move has caused. It looks like TiVo’s fealing the heat though. The web page on TiVo’s web site promoting FOTF’s contest affiliation used to be here, but now it’s missing — even though the contest goes on through the end of the month. (The contest page is still up at Focus On the Family.) But TiVo’s silent removal of a web page won’t be enough to gloss over the outrage. That will take a public apology and a reassessment of TiVo’s partnering relationship with FOTF.

Meanwhile, here at BTB we’re holding a truly inclusive SuperDads contest. Tell us why your dad is a SuperDad. You can send photos, essays, letters, drawings, videos, podcasts, or whatever else conveys a sense of what your father has meant to you. Your only limitation is your imagination. Just send it to Superdad@boxturtlebulletin.com.

The best submission gets a free BTB T-shirt. I know it’s not much, but maybe next year we’ll be able to afford a TiVo.

[Hat tip: Good As You]

Update: Some people are reporting that the site is up, while others say its down. A mystery. Here are some questions we’d like you to answer in the comments:

1. Does TiVo’s page load for you?

2. Is this the first time you tried accessing the web page at TiVo?

3. Did you clear your browsers’ cache and/or deleted cookies? Do you get a different result if you do?

4. Please specify which browser, operating system, and internet provider is giving you your results.

Love Won Out in Orlando

Exodus International and Focus On the Family pulled their roadshow into Exodus’ home turf of Orlando last weekend. A reported 500 people turned out for this edition of Love Won Out, which puts this attendance on the smallish side. Maybe too much competition from Orlando’s Gay Days, which was going on at the same time. At any rate, the good parents and friends at PFLAG were there to greet the struggling parents of gays and lesbians with coffee and donuts.

CA Anti-Gays either Completely Idiotic or Shameless Liars

Sometimes anti-gays do or say something so stupid, so plainly false, that you wonder who they think they’re fooling. Today’s example comes from the California anti-gay group Campaign for Children and Families and (where else?) Kern County.

The Bakersfield Californian reported on the County Supervisors meeting this morning. There, Randy Thomasson of the CCF presented an proposed ordinance for consideration

The ordinance states “no employee of (blank) County, and no elected or appointed official of (blank) County, may issue a marriage license to any couple other than a statutorily qualified man and woman.”

There Thomasson made the rather bizarre claim that the County Supervisors could override the decision of the State Supreme Court.

Randy Thomasson of Campaign for Children and Families said the county can pass the ordinance and stop all marriage licenses.

He said issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples violates the state constitution because the Supreme Court had no power to redefine marriage in ruling on Proposition 22 last month.

“Can you actually protect marriage in your county? Can you pass the ordinance? Yes, you can,” Thomasson said.

Really, Randy? The Supervisors can “protect marriage” in their county? Are you out of your mind or are you so dedicated to your campaign of bigotry that you are willing to say anything at all – no matter how obviously insane – to advance your agenda? Do you retain even the smallest smidgen of integrity?

Not being drooling vegetables, the Supervisors were not much impressed.

Enacting an ordinance that goes against the constitution and the decision of the California Supreme Court “doesn’t seem to withstand scrutiny” said Supervisor Jon McQuiston.

The Supervisors referred the issue to County Counsel and requested a report back on July 8 on whether such an ordinance would be legal. But in the spirit of saving time and trees, let me help with that inquiry.

No. It wouldn’t.

Next really stupid question?

UPDATE

Here’s a link to Thomasson’s proposed ordinance.

14. The Board of Supervisors specifically finds that marriage only for a man and a woman is the law of the land and the foundation of family and society in Kern County.

Hey, Randy, if your legal prowess didn’t impress the California Supreme Court, the Governor, or the legislature, why not try it on the Kern County Board of Supervisors. If they don’t bite, you might try the local grammar school debating club. Perhaps they can “specifically find” some laws your way.

See also:
Kern Co. Supervisors Reject Anti-Gay Ordinance
Calaveras County Joins Kern and Butte
Barnett Breaks Her Media Silence – Stupidly, of Course
Chad Vegas – Kern Co. School Board Trustee’s Double Standard
Ann Barnett Annoys Local Bakersfield Media
Two More California Counties Stop Officiating at Weddings
CA Anti-Gays Either Completely Idiotic or Shameless Liars
No Non-Religious Marriages in Kern County
A Voice of Reason in Kern Co.
Kern Co. (Bakersfield) Clerk Ann K. Barnett Cancels Straight Weddings
More Bakersfield Bigotry
Bakersfield – Not a Place to Plan Your Wedding

No Non-Religious Marriages in Kern County

We’ve been following the story of Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett and her decision to stop the county from providing the courtesy of civil marriages. The Bakersfield Californian now reveals that Barnett may well have stopped all civil marriages from being conducted in the county.

In county government, only Barnett has the power to perform civil marriages — or deputize others to do the ceremonies — and she has already decided to cut all marriages short at the end of this week.

And her office is refusing to deputize the public as well.

The only other civil [marriage] option for both gay and straight couples could be Kern County’s judges. It remained unclear Monday whether judges can or will do the ceremonies.

Barnett cannot stop same-sex marriages from being conducted and legally recognized in Kern County. But she can ensure that all marriages are conducted by persons whose authority is granted by reason of religious ordination.

Supervisor Don Maben has a personal reason why that is not acceptable.

Maben, whose Catholic father married his Protestant mother in a civil ceremony because their faiths didn’t match up, said the issue isn’t gay marriage.

It’s about the county’s commitment to serve all its citizens.

Barnett’s spiteful action is unlikely to have much impact on same-sex couples who are seeking to wed. And as the Rev. Bryd Tetzlaff of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Kern County has promised officiate same-sex weddings free of charge, they will not incur any additional costs.

But Barnett has hurt those opposite-sex couples who do not have the extra few hundred dollars available or those who, like Maben’s parents, have religious reasons for seeking a civil ceremony.

And I have little doubt that Barnett has opened Kern County to litigation from atheists or other persons who will question whether the County has the right to deny recognition of marriages that are not affiliated with religion.

The LA Times also has an article that discusses how Bakersfield came to be the eighth most conservative city in the country.

See also:
Kern Co. Supervisors Reject Anti-Gay Ordinance
Calaveras County Joins Kern and Butte
Barnett Breaks Her Media Silence – Stupidly, of Course
Chad Vegas – Kern Co. School Board Trustee’s Double Standard
Ann Barnett Annoys Local Bakersfield Media
Two More California Counties Stop Officiating at Weddings
CA Anti-Gays Either Completely Idiotic or Shameless Liars
No Non-Religious Marriages in Kern County
A Voice of Reason in Kern Co.
Kern Co. (Bakersfield) Clerk Ann K. Barnett Cancels Straight Weddings
More Bakersfield Bigotry
Bakersfield – Not a Place to Plan Your Wedding

A Father’s Day Message

This letter for Father’s Day comes to us from Garrett.

Growing up with my father was a blessing. He taught me so much. He was my coach and best bud when I was younger. I came out after I graduated from high school and things kind of changed. I know that he still loves me and we still speak; though it seems to hurt him to have a gay son. Here is my card to him:

Dad,

Do you remember when you would let me drive the car, eating Megabite popsicles, and drinking cream sodas during our daily commute? I miss those days scouting the new town to live in before the rest of the family would make the move.

Do you remember jamming out to “Sweet Emotion” by Aerosmith when you would work on the Jeep? I remember running around occasionally screaming when I stepped on a grass burr. You thought I was singing to the song. Haha

Do you remember when I fell the first and last time on the red track gravel from jumping a hurdle? I guess it only took once…

Do you remember setting up the watering system for the football field grass with the rest of the coaches? I loved helping out with the clasps between each connection.

Do you recall me scurrying around with the wires to your headset during football games? It was so great to hear you instruct from the sidelines and use the signals for formations.

Do you remember how bad we felt when I blew coverage on that wide receiver and lost the game for the season? You made it seem like nothing and taught me to prepare and practice to perfection.

Do you recall how jealous the other students were because I got to each lunch with my dad everyday of school? It was like we were best friends who lived together.

Do you remember writing me passes to show up late to class because I didn’t want to go when the bell rang for the end of lunch? I got to hang out in your class room and watch the students laugh at your funny teaching.

Do you recall the corny face I had when I won the state championship? I remember the 5:30 AM practices and all the injuries, but you were there going through it all with me.

Do you remember when we’d say, ‘How ’bout them Yanks’ in front of the team? It was our way of saying ‘I love you’ without anyone else knowing.

I know that having a gay son is a hard thing for you to swallow right now. Please just know that I am and will always be your son who has some awesome memories to share with you.

How ’bout them Yanks Dad!

Happy Father’s Day

Love always,
Garrett

Do you have something you want to share for father’s day? Please send it to Superdad@boxturtlebulletin.com.