Video: Inside “Love Won Out”

In this multi-part series of videos Box Turtle Bulletin editor Jim Burroway discusses attending Love Won Out.

Daniel Gonzales

December 16th, 2007

In this segment Jim recounts Nancy Heche’s speech in which she describes praying her daughter, Anne Heche, out of lesbianism. This is one of the most bizarre moments of Love Won Out so we’ll let Nancy’s do her own talking, here’s the video:

Dotti/Roby BerrySapp

December 17th, 2007

additional website:

Hi Jim,
I can’t believe you just posted this yesterday. I came across it accidentally as I was reviewing some other info. Ironically, Roby (my spouse) and I have had a lot of contact with Focus on the Family and Love Won Out. Please visit the
You will also be able to click on the link that tells about us going inside of the Love Won Out Conference in Seattle, with Roby’s mother in attendance. Imagine having your mom there, and reaching out (as Nancy encouraged everyone to do with their hands) to “bless” their loved one. We have been going inside Focus on the Family for the last two years, getting to know people inside, such as Diane (who is in charge of the Welcome Center) and Den (head of security). We would appreciate you taking time to read about some of our experiences. We can be reached at and Blessings, dotti and roby

Timothy Kincaid

December 17th, 2007


Thanks for the link. And thank you too for your efforts to reach out to Focus in love not anger.

OH, and now Melissa cannot say she’s never met a gay person that wasn’t molested.

Doug Besharov

December 17th, 2007

“Bizarre”? That she prayed for the well-being of her daughter is “bizarre”? I found her words full of love and warmth for her child and others suffering a similar situation.

Dotti/Roby BerrySapp

December 19th, 2007

Dear Doug,
Please note that Nancy didn’t “pray for the well-being for her child.” If that were true, she would simply leave it up to her daughter, Anne, and God. Nancy prayed that God would intervene to change Anne’s character and destiny (conforming to Nancy’s definition of “blessing.”) This makes the assumption that there is something wrong with Anne’s character and destiny. Nancy was praying to alter her child, and that is not loving if Anne is bringing no harm to another human. Nancy assumes that there is “something inherently wrong” with loving another person of the same gender. If I am being loving to my spouse, Roby, and not only bringing no harm, but empowering her and our relationship, my character and destiny do not need changing. And the “suffering” that many of these people are experiencing is not because they are gay, but because they are told they are wrong for being gay by some (not all) religious institutions. If I were to apply this to heterosexuals, it would like me telling them that they are wrong for being that way, and that they are suffering, and that they would be happier if they are gay. And then if we prayed for the heterosexual person to be gay, the inference is that this would be “loving.” I don’t find anything loving about trying to make someone be who they are not. Let’s suppose that a gay person’s character is stellar, and through their own personal relationship with God and/or the divine, they are certain that their destiny is intact in a positive way. Why should someone else tell them different?

I feel certain that you realize Nancy’s stance is not the stance of many theologians and churches. (please go to this link to read what Rev. Dr. Lisa Davison, Professor of Old Testament, has written about “What the Bible Says/Doesn’t Say about Homosexuality.”

In case you didn’t go to the link provided in our initial post and read our personal synopsis of going inside FOTF, and having Roby’s mother there with us, please ready the exerpt below about this specific situation with Nancy speaking.

“Roby, crying out in pain, used those breaks to communicate with her mother, Miriam, who was in attendance, saying “They are telling lies, Mom. It breaks my heart that you believe them. Do you really believe that my character and destiny needs changing?” This occurred after Nancy Heche closed her talk by asking people to bless the GLBT persons they know. She defined “blessing” as asking God to intervene in the lives of GLBT persons and change their character and destiny. Roby’s mother sat there with her hands reaching out to receive the blessing and then gave it back as she was instructed, one of the sheep being herded each moment of the day. To Miriam’s credit, she later sought out Roby to explain that wasn’t her intent when she joined in the “blessing.” If you are Roby, however, and you have just witnessed this as you sit by your mother, what else would you think? It would be like saying “Raise your hand if you believe in Santa Claus.” If you raised your hand, I would assume that you do believe in Santa Claus (why would I assume that you are lying?) If I then shared with you afterwards that I don’t believe in Santa Claus, and had not since I was about ten years old, and was wondering if you could explain yourself, and you seemed “stunned” that I would think that you believed in Santa Claus simply because you raised your hand acknowledging your belief, I would feel confused. That would be my description of why this interaction with Miriam caused confusion for Roby.

While we agree with your right to disagree, we cannot find the “love” in Nancy approach.

blessings on your journey,
dotti & roby

Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.


Latest Posts

The Things You Learn from the Internet

"The Intel On This Wasn't 100 Percent"

From Fake News To Real Bullets: This Is The New Normal

NC Gov McCrory Throws In The Towel

Colorado Store Manager Verbally Attacks "Faggot That Voted For Hillary" In Front of 4-Year-Old Son

Associated Press Updates "Alt-Right" Usage Guide

A Challenge for Blue Bubble Democrats

Baptist Churches in Dallas, Austin Expelled Over LGBT-Affirming Stance

Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.