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Sad, Sad Elaine Donnelly

Timothy Kincaid

September 30th, 2008

Poor Elaine Donnelly.

Her fight to keep gay folks from serving their country through military service is becoming a lonely and thankless task.

She showed up at Congress back in July only to find that it’s a different place than she’d like it to be. Gosh, anti-gay ranting just doesn’t get the response it used to. Now she found herself mocked by both Democrats and Republicans and those who she thought were on her side were ‘much too busy’ to make it to the hearing that day.

And the public just is no help any more. Three quarters of voters, at least, think that gay folks should be able to serve openly. And that not just those San Francisco liberals. No, 59% of conservative Republicans, conservative Republicans, think that gay people should be able to fight for their nation. Oh, the tragedy.

Even the military leaders are turning against her. First it was a general, and some prior Chaimen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, then a Secretary of Defense, and some past Presidents, and then a commission of former military leaders, and now its hard to find anyone who will stand with Elaine and talk about “HIV positivity” and showers and black lesbian gang rapists.

What’s a girl to do?

Well Elaine is, if nothing else, tenatious. She just knows she can find an ally out there somewhere if she looks hard enough.

So she turned to the tried and true.

Elaine just knows that there are crusty old veterans full of stories about how awful the sissies were back in WWII. And if she could just get these venerable old men and remind America of the sacrifice they paid then surely the nation would come to its senses and run the gay folks out of town. And if there’s no one left to translate Arabic, well who cares? You don’t need to know what they’re saying to bomb ‘em back to the stone age.

So Elaine set up a extra-special super-secret meeting. She would get together with only the high level senior mucky-mucks of veterans organizations, come up with a list of dark misdeeds by the militant homoSEXuals (yes, militant, what other kind would be in the service?) and march back to Congress like Jeremiah of Old to confront the lawmakers with her anecdotes of woe and doom.

But, darn it, you can’t even rely on the octogenarians to hold onto their homophobia any more. Those crotchety ol’ back-stabing sneaks betrayed her. They leaked her letter.

And now PFLAG is telling everyone about her super-secret mission. Alas, alas. Her beautiful plan has gone to naught.

Oh but never fear, fair reader, for Elaine will rise again. For as long as she has strength to fight and heart to hate, Elaine will be there on the forefront saying any and every vile thing she can in her quest to drive the evil sodomite from the land.

Comments

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John
September 30th, 2008 | LINK

I yearn for the day when Ms. Donnelly is forced into retirement and CMR closes up shop. May no other servicemember endure this crap anymore.

Trevor
October 1st, 2008 | LINK

Ah the withered old CU Next Tuesday rises from the grave only to find fewer and fewer allies every year. That must be frustrating for her. Perhaps she can continue to count on the support of “Christian” “researchers” like Mr. Paul Cameron.

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