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God Hates Figs

Jim Burroway

March 14th, 2009

This flyer was distributed during a recent Chicago counter-protest against members of the “God hates fags” Westboro Baptist Church. Food for thought:

God Hates Figs flyer (Click to enlarge)

God Hates Figs flyer (Click to enlarge)

[Hat tip: Dan Savage]

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Pomo
March 14th, 2009 | LINK

ha!

Timothy Kincaid
March 14th, 2009 | LINK

Well if God hates figs, then it certainly justifies my hating figs, doesn’t it?

lurker
March 14th, 2009 | LINK

If god hates figs, why did he create them in the first place?

AlexM
March 14th, 2009 | LINK

If god hates figs, why did he create them in the first place?

Doesn’t matter, it’s in the bible. Which, of course, means that not only should good Christians avoid eating figs, but we should make laws against the eating of figs as well. Hmmmm . . . perhaps Constitutional amendments, as well. . .

Richard W. Fitch
March 14th, 2009 | LINK

The WBC/Phelps’ Clan recently has been met with some very creative counter-protests both at Univ Chicago/Hyde Park and several communities in MA where they were protesting, among other things, The Laramie Project. There was even a “Phelps-A-Thon”. One school being protested asked counter-protesters to give money for a local teen gay org. If this keeps up, the Phelps may become their own worst enemies in promoting better understanding and compassion for the LGBTQ community.

Lynn David
March 15th, 2009 | LINK

Of course! Now I get why that monkey had to die in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!”

grantdale
March 15th, 2009 | LINK

Nobody hates figs. They just think they do.

Timothy, you just haven’t had our green fig chutney on a slice of grilled ham. A little bit spicy, a little bit fruity and, well SURPRIZ, a little bit hammy.

There is nothing wrong with figs.

I bet you must have awful hidden memories of being toilet trained. Right?

“Oooh my God Harold, the Boy hasn’t gone between 6:45am and 7:15am … we best be giv’g him some of that fig syrup!!! And from the look on his round face… lot’s of it! Gizz me The funnel and The stick…”

Of course, we diverge.

In our area people so much love their figs that they put netting all over … just to protect them. Otherwise birds go a pecking, and that will always ruin a good fig. A thoroughly pecked fig is not a good fig.

But just ripe, and popped in an oven with a wafer of prosciutto, a slice of melon and squige of balsamic on a warm night together with a glass of good chilled Chardonnay… oooh my gawd, it’s the 1980′s all over again. And thank heavens we’re listening to Mel & Kim at the same time.

Seriously, who could hate figs?

bill miller
March 16th, 2009 | LINK

what can one expect from toothless illiterate christians?

KZ
March 16th, 2009 | LINK

Does this mean that if I eat a fig newton, I’m risking eternal damnation? Because fig newtons are really good.

Todd
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

And shrimp. Don’t forget about shrimp!

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

Lowell Bartholomee
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

Lynn, the monkey died in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” And it was from a poisoned date. Which proves that you must avoid figs and never, ever date.

We must immediately sanction Great Britain. Their figgy pudding is the worst attack on Christmas the world has yet seen.

God Hates Figs « Yes, Let’s Talk About This
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

[...] Hates Figs Posted in Daily Philosophizing, Random by hwiencek on March 17th, 2009 God hates figs…and seafood. « More [...]

Rev Bob Borden
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

Normally I am at the head of the line when it comes to humor as a non-incendiary weapon against the Evil One. But Phelps group, the so-called Westboro Baptist “Church,” is so Satanic, so evil, so deranged, so warped, and so inhuman that I will eschew even humor in dealing with them. To even mention their name, or that of their Fuher, is to give them far too much free publicity. The only thing good I know about them is that, like raspberry seeds, they shall pass!

CAB
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

“If god hates figs, why did he create them in the first place?”

Because shut up, that’s why.

Kelly
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

so the Fig Leaf bikini is out this season?

Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

It’s obvious that God made the fig for the leaves to cover human’s nasty bits.

Izak
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

This is a commonly misunderstood Bible story. God does not hate all fig trees, but a very specific fig tree. God cursed that fig tree, and the tree withered and died. God really doesn’t have a beef with the countless other fig trees that continue to thrive and produce delicious figs for people and monkeys and fig-eating bats to enjoy.

Though I hear that God does really hate pubic lice.

Peter
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

There really are no figs. Just pears with a self-image problem who THINK they are figs.

Tim
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

I really, really, hate figs; but I love fags!! Especially nice, cute ones. But I don’t care how good looking a fig is. I will still hate it…and I’m not even Christian.

Loganotron » God Hates FIGS
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

[...] OMG. This is so so so so so awesome. [...]

Timothy Mulligan
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

Friggin’ figs!

Monk-in-Training
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

I want a copy of that flyer!

Hilarious.

Deb
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

it’s a figleaf of your imagination

Eddie89
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

I’m Gay and I LOVE FIGS!!!

So, I suppose that I will burn in hell twice as much!

Hmmm, fire roasted figs. Haven’t tried that one, yet.

Oh, and I also eat shrimp, lobster, oysters, clams, ham and cheeseburgers.

And I own a wool/cotton blend sweater.

Yeah, I’m going to be burning for eternity x10!

SonMade
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

I had a date with a fig. Turned out to be a prune. The pits.

Sam, Nanti-SARRMM
March 17th, 2009 | LINK

Well, Jesus did curse the barren fig tree, so I guess it is true.

Cristy Li
March 18th, 2009 | LINK

I have written a couple posts last year about these simple minded RACISTS.

http://cristyli.blogspot.com/2008/08/anti-asian-church-to-defy-court-order.html

What are you thinking supporting them?

Are you (and those leaving comments supporting Westboro Baptist Church prejudices) Anti-Asian Bigots too?

You are who your friends are.

Regards,
Cristy Li
CristyKaiRuiLi@gmail.com

Timothy Kincaid
March 18th, 2009 | LINK

Ummm… I think Cristy is a bit confused.

Jim Burroway
March 18th, 2009 | LINK

Maybe she just doesn’t give a fig.

Eddie89
March 18th, 2009 | LINK

Perhaps Cristy doesn’t understand our use sarcasm in our comments.

Flavorwire » What’s on at Flavorpill: Links that made the rounds in our office.
August 4th, 2010 | LINK

[...] it so odd. We squawked at this and this, and then balked at this. We were surprised to learn that God Hates Figs — they always seemed rather biblical to us. We pitied Neil Gaiman in this awkward appearance on [...]

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