Box Turtle Bulletin

Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
This article can be found at:
Latest Posts

Marriage Foes Need “Blond Bombshells With Nice Boobs”

Jim Burroway

May 2nd, 2009

Won’t you help today?

YouTube Preview Image

[Courtesy of Emily K]



May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

If by “nice” you mean “unnaturally round.”

May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

She said jugs and jesus in the same sentences. LOL

May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Stunningly. Hilarious.

David C.
May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Very funny. And the menacing music is just icing on the cake.

Priya Lynn
May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Great job Emily – what did it take to produce something like this?

Emily K
May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

2 days of my undivided time, learning a brand new and quite complicated program while creating the commercial so that I could accurately emulate the style of NOM’s ad, writing the script, recording the script, many hours of editing, about an hour final polishing, and about an hour searching for that cheesy “danger is brewing” music. Another hour to put together the little site.

It was worth it. :-) I’ve gotten a good deal of positive feedback. This stuff is time-sensitive so I had to run with it while the idea was fresh and Miss Cali’s 15 min. aren’t quite up yet. (but close.)

Richard W. Fitch
May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Emily — You have a charmingly wicked sense of humour. Great job!! …umm… Jugs4Jesus….kind of catchy. Think Maggie and Ms CA will pay a visit???

May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Hilarious! Perfect Colbert Report. J4J….priceless

Richard Rush
May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

I’ve enjoyed every minute of the fun and laughs during the last few weeks, starting with the aftermath of NOM’s “I Am Afraid” ad, and now with Emily’s great video and jugs4jesus website. I have to say that our side has a juggernaut with the ability to use humor and parody so effectively. Seriously. I am constantly in awe of the creative sense of humor from so many people on our side. It really is one of our major strengths.

Fortunately, our religious-fanatic opponents don’t know how to do humor and parody, and when they try, it falls flat (although they are adept at unintended self-parody). So they generally just come across as nasty fussy authoritarian busybodies who are well schooled in demagoguery.

Highly rigid thinking, which is a hallmark of religious fanatics, doesn’t allow for much creativity. But there is one area where they do show creativity, and that is in their ability to develop ever-more convoluted logic to support their delusional beliefs.

Creativity can’t flourish in people who only look backwards to determine how everything must look going forward.

Great job, Emily!

May 2nd, 2009 | LINK

Great video. Also glad you got it ready before the “15 minutes of fame* ended for Miss Cali. LOL ;)

May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

That was perfect!

Timothy (TRiG)
May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

Brilliant. Only brilliant!


May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

Once again, instead of arguing the pros of gay marraige, we elect a mouth piece who’s just nothing more than a bully. He’s the reason she’s in the media to begin with. No wonder i’m ashamed to be gay, with someone like mario lavanderia attacking girls. He must really hate women, must have gotten beaten up by one as a kid. If we want to win this issue, argue the merits of it, not bad mouth some young woman who’s only crime was answering a question honestly.

Rob C.
May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

Richard Rush: Your comments are spot-in and crazy important. Wow. A fantastic contribution. I hope your comments are read and thought about widely.

Rigid thinking = bigotry = an inability to think laterally (crucial for humor) or deeply (reflect, ponder, consider alternatives, be open to possibilities, question, doubt).

NOM et al.’s inability to think well is their Achilles’ heel.

Richard Rush put his finger right on it.

Maggie Gallagher’s embracing of a not very bright or well-spoken woman who paraded herself around on TV in a skimpy bikini to be “judged” on her bod, no doubt creating full-on woodies in thousands of married heterosexual men watching (if they weren’t actively masturbating), to be a spokesperson for the “defense” of traditional, heterosexual marriage, was deliciously poorly-thought-out.

Every time they open their mouths, or write a column, if their words and actions aren’t self-satirizing (and they often are), we — who have the fantastic advantage of more agile brains — have truth-based satire at our ready disposal.

May the juggernaut continue!!!!

Rob C.
May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

PS: Perhaps I should leave the brilliant stuff to Emily K., Colbert, and others, but I’ll take a stab here at some creativity:

Per juggernaut deal:
Her jugs are not real

Emily K
May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

I don’t remember anybody in the gay community electing Perez Hilton to be a spokesperson of anything, let alone of the equality movement. In fact so far any gay person giving their opinion of him has expressed their mild to severe dislike of his style, methods, and personality.

I suggest, robi, that you grow up a bit and realize that the only thing you would need to be “ashamed of” as a result of being gay is the fact that you are romantically and sexually attracted to someone of the same sex. And this is nothing to be ashamed of.

PS, thanks for all the great compliments. It makes my day. Please keep spreading the word about the NOME cause! I’ve posted a new entry at if anyone is interested. :-)

Vic N.
May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

Oh now that was just funny! I find it amazing that so many of the anti-marriage (and BTW there is no such thing as gay or straight marriage, you are either for loving people entering into a lifetime bond or your against it,) but I find it so amazing that the anti-gay movement actively and maliciously tell lies and involve innocent children in their bigoted campaigns at almost every turn, yet they get angry and frustrated whenever they are taken to task for doing so, or someone comes along and makes a parody as good as this one and they angrily discount it.

Just another perfect example of the hypocritical nature of blind hate.

Good job, Emily!

May 3rd, 2009 | LINK

Congratulations Emily K! That was fantastic.

May 6th, 2009 | LINK

@Staci — “Jugs for Jesus” — what a great idea for a bumper sticker!


Leave A Comment

All comments reflect the opinions of commenters only. They are not necessarily those of anyone associated with Box Turtle Bulletin. Comments are subject to our Comments Policy.

(Required, never shared)

PLEASE NOTE: All comments are subject to our Comments Policy.