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Steve Used To Be Ex-Gay, Now He’s Ex-Mormon

Jim Burroway

July 10th, 2011

That’s the choice a lot of people of faith feel that they are forced to make when they finally confront the fact that they are never going to change from gay to straight. For thirty-eight years, Steve was Mormon and a member of Evergreen, the Mormon ex-gay organization. He also learned that there was a third choice other than being ex-gay or ex-Mormon: out of the fifteen members of his ex-gay group in Colorado, one third committed suicide. Steve says that the organization’s criteria for success was that he was still coming to meetings, still tithing to the church, and still taking on the trappings of being a stereotypical straight man. He shed the first two criteria, but in a few ways he retained at least some of the aspects of the third: he is a gay man who has learned how to change the oil in his car.

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July 11th, 2011 | LINK

I am a recovering mormon and did not choose to go through the torture that group does to gay people, they have blood on there hands for those who murdered themselves because of that groups inhumanity and bigotry, I made many mistakes but am happy with who I am and married to a wonderfull man, please come to grips with yourself and no you do not need to be a slut to do that but you are gay and that is how God created you please do yourself and those you love a favor and be true to yourself, God loves you and you will find a man to love you for eternity.

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

Massive lawsuits for damages are the only thing that will stop these religious carnivals from inflicting damages on people.

Eastside Jim
July 11th, 2011 | LINK

“That’s the choice a lot of people of faith are feel that…” shouldn’t that be “people of faith are feeling” or “people of faith who feel”.

I know… picky, picky…

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

I was wondering about talking about five suicides and then shifting abruptly to talking about oil drain plugs…?

Golly, I think Steve needs to have an Excommunication Party. I’ve been to a few. He sounds like he needs one.

Generally speaking, most gay Mormons need to leave the confines of their LDS environment. (Maybe move to another State?) The healthier and happier ‘recovering’ gay Mormons are almost always better off being out from the shadows of their family and the tightly-knit LDS culture so steeped in peer pressure. Individual circumstances might deem different counsel…but generally speaking: gay Mormons need to sit out and take a breather from going to Church every Sunday and re-evaluate their circumstances.

Personally, I believe there is no place for a homosexual in the LDS Church…not even a completely celibate one. The dichotomy with LDS dogma is too great.

I doubt there are any facts from any study but I truly believe the suicide rate for gay Mormons is higher than any other religion. Why? Perhaps it’s the culture of a cult.

In the SLTrib last week: A gay BYU worker at their PBS broadcasting station (KBYU) is making a documentary about gay Saints. It ought to prove interesting to watch when he is finished.

But, Steve, you should have a party. And invite everyone to read your excommunication letter from your Mormon General Authority.

Priya Lynn
July 11th, 2011 | LINK

Cowboy said “I was wondering about talking about five suicides and then shifting abruptly to talking about oil drain plugs…? “.

I noticed that throughout the video were cuts that spliced together things he had said at different times. I don’t remember if there was a cut after he spoke about the suicides but think there likely was and hence the abrupt change to talking about oil changes.

Mark F.
July 11th, 2011 | LINK

LDS people need to realize that Joseph Smith lied about getting those gold tablets. Once you accept that, leaving the church becomes easy, right?

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

I wonder how many who used to be Ex-Gays are now Ex-Christians.

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

@Ezam, I don’t know, but I DO know that a lot of us who have NEVER been “EX-gay” are now EX-Christian. I’m proud to be one of them!

Ben In Oakland
July 11th, 2011 | LINK

He may me ex-ex-gay abnd ex-mormon, but at least he is not ex-alive.

Blood on their hands is not too strong a description.

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

At what point are we going to start holding these organizations responsible for their criminal activity? Religious freedom should not give licence to hate speech or immunity from civil law.

Timothy Kincaid
July 11th, 2011 | LINK


We ALL have the right to hate speech, religious or otherwise. It is protected under the First Amendment.

July 11th, 2011 | LINK

I may be in the minority, here, but I quit doing the Catholic schtick long before I even had a clue about my orientation. I imagine that someone who is still a devout believer would have a very hard time choosing — it seems to me that you’d either have to reject your faith (difficult, but not impossible, to do), or reject yourSELF and insist on being someone you’re not (also difficult-but-not-impossible, but with a higher price).

How does one come to a decision, here?

I mean, what’s worse, the threat of hellfire, or the misery of denying your true self?

(I, personally, would take hellfire over being a good little automaton.)

July 12th, 2011 | LINK

Love the idea of an excommunication party. It takes the power of shame away from the Mormon Church.

Excommunication in Mormon enclaves in Utah would be akin to Scientology disassociation or other religions shunning.

July 12th, 2011 | LINK

This is music to my ears. The road to Damascus is a two-way street, and this brave, thoughtful gentleman proves it.

I recommend Steve read the books by Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Infidel, especially), who made the same journey, though in much more dangerous circumstrances.

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