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5.8 Magnitude Earthquake Wipes Out East Coast

Jim Burroway

August 23rd, 2011

TPM surveys the devastation. The US Geological Survey says the earthquake was centered in rural Virginia about midway between Charlottesville and Richmond. But of course residents of Washington D.C. and New York immediately began arguing over which of their two cities was the epicenter. Meanwhile, rumors are swirling that Standard & Poor is threatening to downgrade the earthquake to 5.7.

Anyone got anything else to add?

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woulfe
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

Doubtless it was god warning America about wallowing in homosexual sin.

Timothy Kincaid
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

In California we love earthquakes. The first little tremor tends to send the newbys running back home to where they only have hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, drought, killing heat, humidity, and (of course) earthquakes.

Kelly
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

Woulfe’s right. It’s clearly God’s punishment on New York for allowing teh gayz to get gay married.

MattNYC
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

Jim–Love the S&P dig (although the USGS HAS downgraded it ;).

My favorite humor point so far is the Twitter feed of the fabulous Lizz Winstead:

http://twitter.com/#!/lizzwinstead

Including this gem:

Worst. Rapture. Ever. #Earthquake

:)

TampaZeke
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

Wasn’t the epicenter kinda close to Pat Robertson’s empire? Wonder what he’ll have to say about it?

mike
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

uhm it wasn’t a wipeout btw, local news claimed it barely affected DC and the surrounding areas, it moved my appartment buildings here in newport news ,va

Priya Lynn
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

Mike, I think “wipes out” is a bit of humour.

Ray
August 23rd, 2011 | LINK

I hope this means the San Andreas Fault has moved to the east coast. Yesterday it was right across the freeway from me here in the Palm Springs area. An eastward shifting would be good for property values here in California.

Jim Burroway
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

In California we love earthquakes. The first little tremor tends to send the newbys running back home to where they only have hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, drought, killing heat, humidity, and (of course) earthquakes.

But at least the heat here in Arizona is a dry heat!

Qwerty
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

Dry heat, just like my oven…

Rob in San Diego
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

I laugh at messages like this one that I’m finding on yahoo…

“REPENT! Jesus IS coming! We are in the last Days! Look it UP people! believe in it or not! Jesus is STILL coming, there is NO stopping it! Think about it…An earth quake in new york? gee, you wonder why?! HELLO! Hey man…this is NO #$%$ joke! WAKE UP WORLD!! The lord IS going to come! rather you believe in it or not! rather you like it or not! rather you LIKE it or not! Too bad!! Our father says…so it shall be written, so it shall be done!! Amen!!”

Umm lady, please check your google maps, you’ll find that the earthquake was in Virgina, a red state and not New York.

Come on guys, weren’t you watching the earthquake channel this morning? I mean you never seem to listen to the weather channel when tornadoes, hurricanes, thunder storms, fires, droughts, and snowmagedon come barreling towards your area.

Earthquakes here in California are spontaneous, you are given plenty of warning to get out of the wrath of GOD’s way and yet you stay in your homes! And why is it that GOD hits you in the south with tornadoes, hurricanes, deadly thunder storms, and other nasty stuff EVERY YEAR? Makes ya wonder what all you GOD fearing homophobes are doing wrong, eh?

Bruce in VA
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

Personally, I think it happened because GOD decided to pour out His wrath on my sinful gay self, as I live 15-20 miles south-southeast of the epicenter. Unfortunately, it appears He missed, as the earthquake occurred in Lousia County, which is not exactly known for its homosexual debauchery. Also, I was driving at the time and missed it entirely. Damn.

So, all in all, not the best wrath-aiming the world has ever seen. I give it a 2 out of 10.

Blake
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

New York had to be the epicenter. How could it not? Everything important in America happens in New York.

Hue-Man
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

Gays must be superpowerful, causing earthquakes mostly in the middle of nowhere and often in oceans…

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/

Timothy Kincaid
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

If we are going to base what God loves and hates solely on natural disasters, then it has to be said. God hates trailer parks and the people who live in them. Really, he does. And the South, oh good heavens He despises the South.

And if you have some crazy church like Dr. Kennedy’s which spends half its time hatin on Teh Gheys, well God just might rip the roof off.

But he’s not all vengeance, as New Orleans showed us. He does seem to have a soft spot for the gay parts of town.

Troy
August 24th, 2011 | LINK

@woulfe – Get a life!

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