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NC Anti-Gay Preacher Channels Hippie Chick from 1971

Jim Burroway

September 7th, 2011

North Carolina lawmakers held a press conference yesterday to promote a proposed constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage that is expected to be introduced into the state legislature shortly. And in the latest installment of the battle of bad marriage metaphors, Rev. Johnny Hunter called same-sex marriage “immoral and unnatural” because only heterosexual acts can be “consummated.” Just goes to show his own ignorance when it comes to sexual matters. Anyway, Hunter then went on to use used a lock and key to try to make his case. 

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But unfortunately, when I heard about it, all I could think about was this:

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(For you wippersnappers who don’t know what a roller skate key was for, Wikipedia explains: “The rollerskates in question would have been children’s quad skates, which were clamped to the soles of ordinary shoes. The clamps were tightened with a special ‘key’ that basically was a very simple socket wrench. The key was inevitably lost or misplaced, in which case a screwdriver or other tool usually could substitute though at some inconvenience.”)

Comments

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Erin
September 7th, 2011 | LINK

I am currently vacationing in the Outer Banks. I’m considering boycotting this state if things don’t get better. I’ll give my tourist dollars to more friendly places.

marcus
September 7th, 2011 | LINK

I always thought it was mildly entertaining when straight people try to explain to gay people that they don’t have the proper anatomy for sex. As if we need lessons. My partner and I never had any trouble figuring out where things go.

Christopher
September 8th, 2011 | LINK

The Melanie-challenged could listen to Madonna’s “Open Your Heart”… but even THAT is 20 years old now!!

Charles
September 8th, 2011 | LINK

The parts don’t match routine ……….. again. I thought it was about love.

Ethan
September 8th, 2011 | LINK

“I always thought it was mildly entertaining when straight people try to explain to gay people that they don’t have the proper anatomy for sex.”

Straights are worst at figuring this thing out, even with the proper ‘tools’, the males in the couple still didn’t know where to ‘insert’. I think they should go teach straights how to have sex before teaching the gays, since the survival of the human race doesn’t fall onto our hands.

Fergie
September 8th, 2011 | LINK

Finally! Thanks for clearing up those lyrics. For decades I never knew what the hell that ‘brand new key” line was all about.

Chharles
September 9th, 2011 | LINK

Those roller skates have gone bye-bye because you were required to have a pair of shoes with soles. I’d like to see a pair close-up for old times sake. I never never understood or liked skate-boards, but roller skating was fun

cleosmom
September 9th, 2011 | LINK

Now you’ll have me singing “Brand New Key” all Saturday. One of my favorite semi-bawdy songs!

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