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News and commentary about the anti-gay lobbyApril 29th, 2012
My friend admonished me “write your life. Write what you live. Not just what you believe”.
So here I stand in The Abbey. Forty-eight in a sea of twenty somethings wondering what brings me here. Well I know that in theory it’s to see if an ex is working tonight. (and yeah, the bartenders are what all the magazines say they are). So far I haven’t seen Frankie. Maybe he’s off tonight – he’s hard to miss
But it’s also to see what happens if I dare. If i dare show up and act like i belong. So far it’s exciting. I’ve had boys I would never stop and speak to come up. “you shouldn’t smile… It’s too cute”. Okay. I can live with cute.
But when did the abbey get so straight? That Adonis in the alcove with six girls on him thinks he’s king of the night. And he is. Tonight. Tomorrow he’ll wonder how two decades passed so quickly.
Strippers smile and grind and I wonder if I have a single. Once I would have given a phone number. But I’m not maudlin; I have nothing I need to prove. I don’t have to relive anything.
The boys making out in front of me are adorable. I want to kiss them. Both of them. I won’t, of course – even if I could (I can’t). But the idea is thrill enough.
I wonder, will I regret writing this tomorrow? Almost certainly. Fueled by three Ketel-soda, it seems like a good idea right now though.
In any case it’s an experiment. And that, in and of itself, is reason enough.
At the bar, Luga and his girlfriend introduced themselves. “I’m very fucked up” he says. I’m sure he is. I laugh and toast them and excuse myself.
. . .
It seems the king of the alcove is here with several balconies of girls. It’s birthday thing. One of the girls. I know this because I was introduced. Right before one of the girls grabbed me and kissed me. I say girl, she’s probably 30. But to me,
. . .
After hanging in the corner (where I met Dawn and DeVin) I wandered back in time to see what I’m sure are a troup of actor/dancers (after a while you can identify). The casual ease of the racial diversity gives me hope.
. . .
It’s 1:30 and it’s time for me to make my exit. Alone. At one time that would have been depressing and I would have shopped the Sidewalk Sale with increasing desperation.
Tonight I’ll just head home with a smile.
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Ken R
April 29th, 2012
I had to check and see if this was the same Abbey coffeehouse I used 2 go to when I lived in LA. Sure enough, it was. It has completely changed since last I was there! I’ve lived in Vegas for over 12 1/2 years and I don’t remember it being a bar or hot spot. It was just a small neighborhood coffehouse to get over priced coffee. LOL!
I haven’t been to West Hollywood in years. I’m going to be 46 so I pretty much bowed out of the gay scene in the late 90’s. I sure remember the mid 80’s – mid 90’s when the bars used to be jammed packed. The fire codes are stricter now. Can’t jam them in like they used to. Studio One and Peanuts were the two I used to hang around at in the 80’s. Those places have completely different names now. Had a fake idea to get in and drink. *sigh* Seems like yesterday.
Those were some really great years!
David Waite
April 29th, 2012
Reading this was a great way to begin Sunday morning, thank you for sharing. It took me right back to the late ’50s and early ’60s, my main bar years. The parts that were different are a wonderful improvement, such as “The casual ease of the racial diversity gives me hope.”
This “It seems the king of the alcove is here with several balconies of girls. It’s birthday thing.” is also a good thing, because of what it means about changing social attitudes. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself; I’m toasting your night with my morning coffee.
Shawn B
April 29th, 2012
Thanks for sharing your experience. I haven’t been in the Abbey in years. A couple years ago, I moved back to Michigan from SoCal and couldn’t be happier. Maybe its maturing with age as I turned 40 last year, but I just don’t have time in my life for the pretentious egos that ran rampant in SoCal and that area thrives on it. There is more to life than wearing the right clothes and having six pack abs.
Reed
April 29th, 2012
Age 53. L.A. places (before there was WeHo). Studio One. Peanuts. Rage/Revolver. Yukon Mining Company.
Orange County/Garden Grove. DOK West. Tiki Hut. Iron Spur. The Mug.
Orange County/Laguna Beach. Little Shrimp. Boom Boom Room. Main Street.
Most of them are gone now, or subsumed.
Thanks for writing your life. 48. Phhhhftt! Child.
Ken
April 30th, 2012
Thanks for a great post. After living in LA for 23 years and going out in the 80s and early 90s, I moved to California’s Central Valley with the now-ex and the kids just over four years ago. This weekend, I was in SF soaking up gay culture (“Corpus Christi” and related documentary; the kids were home with the nanny) and headed out for a drink after the play. Your post was right one! Thanks for sharing.
Ryan
April 30th, 2012
This was sweet. I used to go to the Abbey all the time, too. At 37 I feel out of place, now. And it’s so different. So loud and crowded and I hate that dance floor and yes I’m old.
anteros
May 1st, 2012
thanks for sharing this timothy:)
kinda tickled my senses and emotions… blurring memories with imagination… reminding me of anxieties from my twenties… i haven’t completely grown up, but reading this reminds me that it’s good – and fun – to just appreciate life moment by moment. thanks again :)
Keppler
May 1st, 2012
Mr. Prufrock, I presume….
We’ve all been to The Abbey, whether the one in LA, or the one in every other place on earth. It lives inside us.
Thanks for sharing.
justme
May 1st, 2012
You’ve definitely found your niche.
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