Sin, sin, everywhere. What’s a Mom to do?
June 5th, 2012
For years folks like the American Family Association would get their undies in a bunch if some business would dare be somewhat civil to some gay person somewhere. And then they would protest and send postcards and threaten boycott and raise a stink. And then if the business backed down, they would declare victory and gloat. Even if the business ignored them and happened to be a smidgen less supportive in the next year, they would declare victory and gloat.
And in response, gay groups and gay people would inquire, “why do you hate us now?” And on it would go.
But it seems like Corporate America has come up with a solution, a strategy to break the chain of angry protest. Now when the American Family Association or some other nutcase whines, the CEO grabs a rainbow flag and the whole company dances a conga line singing, “We love the gays!”
Or something like that.
Take JCPenney. Anti-gays had a valid point that JCPenney kinda falls more into heterosexual middle-America red-state shopping than it really does for the gay folk. But they overplayed their cards.
When the American Family Association’s project, One Million Moms (which number far closer to ‘One’ than they do to ‘Million’), decided that America’s Big Ol’ Lesbian Sweetheart, Ellen Degeneres, was not wholesome enough for JCPenney, they insisted JCP fire her because she was “an open homosexual”. Forced to pick between the 2-3 million shoppers who tune in to Ellen every day or the half-dozen or so angry harpies who would actually boycott the store, execs yelled, “Dammit, Betty, get in here with my rainbow tutu and feather boa! It’s time for a Pride Parade around the office.”
Well, whether my imagined parade happened or not, JCP decided that they didn’t much want to hear from the Moms – so they blocked email coming from the American Family Association. And when Mothers’ Day came around, JCPenney decided it was time for not only lesbians, but lesbians who are moms (not a million, just two) to be featured. Just in case the OMMs missed the snub.
But the Moms evidently aren’t that bright. They just ratcheted up their noise-making. So finally Penney’s said, “Fine. Find us some gay men. Who are a family. With kids. And get a photographer – it’s almost Fathers’ Day. If they don’t get the point this time then they’re dumber than Rick Santorum!”
“But, but, but…” sputtered the Moms in response. “They’re promoting sin!” And then the nation, all 360 million (other than the Moms) collectively rolled their eyes and turned back to the booze commercial with the young ladies in bikinis.
And, of course, JCP isn’t alone. Macy’s is pissing off the Moms and has been doing so for a while. The Moms would picket but they’ve never been to a Macy’s and besides it sounds Jewish (and all them Jews are librullls anyway).
But on some level I can pity the Moms. Now it feels like Corporate America is just piling on. Like some bully that wakes up in an alternate universe and finds that the band geeks and math club now run the social scene, they must be hurt and confused. Especially after this ad.
One Hundred Percent. Sigh, it’s a sad sad day for the Moms.