20 responses

  1. Tor
    September 28, 2012

    Not the seat, which is usually plastic, but the porcelain tank lid. Count your blessings.

  2. David Waite
    September 29, 2012

    This column is mistitled. It properly should be called,
    Confession of a Jerk
    The column uses over 20 paragraphs, including the quotes from other writers, to paint an unlovely picture of an unlovely person. All of this is in service of the trashing-in-context of the person’s appearance at the same venue as the columnist, several paragraphs worth.

    The venue appearance is used to justify this:
    “Which brings me to my Ryan Idol story. It’s not exactly that thrilling and doesn’t portray me in a particularly complimentary light, but here is how I recall it:”
    We are ‘treated’ to yet more descriptions of the conduct of an intoxicated has-been who was painfully still in denial that he was in truth a never-was.

    The column concludes by dwelling on the crime and conviction and sentencing of the former ‘star’ in order to pretend that the columnist was fortunate not to have been discovered playing a ‘vote him onto the honor court’ act of juvenile malice. We are asked to infer that this act somehow precipitated the already-intoxicated ‘star’s’ meltdown at awards he was already dissing. Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

    Only a jerk would spend an entire column kicking anyone at the self-earned nadir of the person’s life, solely to justify his own malicious behavior. Only a TOTAL jerk would pretend that (1) his malicious behavior somehow caused a meltdown already in progress, (2) is excused because his victim is an even worse person than he is, and is (3) worth inflicting on us.

    Congratulations. You made a porn star I’ve always despised and disliked seem more honestly human than you. You made every politician you’ve railed against for public bitchiness seem statesmanlike in comparison to this ‘mean queen’ confession. You made BTB into a showcase for your own pretentious and fanciful and fatuously self-serving life narrative by kicking a rabid dog after it has been locked up and defanged.

    Your co-editors should join this comment thread to tell us whether they are proud of you and of BTB today. I don’t suppose they’ll care, but their response or lack thereof will determine whether I continue to keep BTB’s rss on my home page instead of in the ‘Gay Blogs’ folder of my favorites. I presume their indifference toward your conduct based on their failure to eexercise any restraint over you when you go off on one of your tirades. I hope they prove me wrong this time.

    Their response or non-response will also determine whether I continue to refer others to this site. It has never been my custom during the past 60 years, and it never will be my custom, to keep referring people to something which I suspect may unexpectedly poison them.

  3. Andrew
    September 29, 2012

    Still better than what happened to poor Joey Stefano (or rather, what JS did to himself).

    No one ever talks about well-adjusted successful porn stars who have a life outside of porn/prostitution/drugs… from what I hear, Dawson manages marketing for a New England Biotech firm… Controversial, but at least not a drug addled porcelain-wielding wretch…

  4. esurience
    September 29, 2012

    David Walde –

    That was the funniest concern trolling I’ve ever seen. Bravo. Bravo. The idea that someone could get so worked up over something so inconsequential — really hilarious stuff!

  5. David Waite
    September 29, 2012

    Andrew, you raise an excellent point:
    “No one ever talks about well-adjusted successful porn stars who have a life outside of porn/prostitution/drugs…”
    Had that point been the focus or theme of this column it might have been worth reading.

    Serious discussions about issues that involve our community are why most of us come to BTB. While good discussion is generally enhanced and informed by personal experience, subjective experience alone, without a larger point, is about as interesting to read as a teenager’s daily diary:
    Dear diary, my date took me to this dinner where the outfit he works for was getting some cash from porno. We saw a porn star who we were sure would never look twice at either of us, so we dissed the stuck-up clown by pretending to love his work, and he noticed what we said!! It was so thrilling!!! I’ll NEVER forget it!!!!

    Presumably, the writer of this statement,
    “One of my clients, an HIV/AIDS service group, was the charity recipient of that year’s gay porn awards and the executive director asked me to join him at the event.”
    is at least qualified to address the issue, since he has had professional involvment, if only at second or third hand, with the genre and its employees.

    Perhaps the columnist doesn’t feel qualified to comment on porn stars as a profession, which makes one wonder why he suggests this:
    “Joey Stefano (another story, another time)”
    Is that future column also going to be some droll account of how he personally caused JS to fatally self-destruct?

    If both porn actors’ names appear column-worthy to Mr. Kincaid merely because he disapproves of their profession, one wonders why he would accept an invitation to attend an affair sure to feature that profession. If he doesn’t disapprove of the profession but disapproves of both those actors, he would seem qualified to answer the larger question you raised. Should we hope you have inspired him to eschew personal anecdote and animus in favor of such a future column?

    Lastly, Andrew, I would be interested to learn why you make this statement: “Dawson manages marketing for a New England Biotech firm. Controversial …” Do you find biotech firms controversial generally and if so, why?

  6. David Waite
    September 29, 2012

    @ esurience,
    I’m going to pretend that you addressed this comment to me, because the idea that I could produce such a reaction from you makes me go tingly all over.

    “David Walde –

    That was the funniest concern trolling I’ve ever seen. Bravo. Bravo. The idea that someone could get so worked up over something so inconsequential — really hilarious stuff!”

    Coming from you, in light of what I’ve noted about almost all of your comments in BTB comment threads, I can only be delighted by the unintended compliment. It gives me the same kind of kick FDR got from the hatred of millionaires.

  7. Michael C
    September 29, 2012

    David, I, too, could have done without the personal anecdote at the end. If I am reading your comments correctly, you seem to feel that the entire article is merely setup for Timothy’s hilarious punch-line. I didn’t read it that way at all. Marc Anthony Donais is in the news today. Not everyone knows who he is. Kincaid apparently couldn’t find many good things to write about. Did “Ryan Idol” deserve this long of an article? I dunno, but I read the whole thing anyway (as did you).

    I’m sorry that you’re still butt-hurt about Barney Frank.

  8. Donny D.
    September 29, 2012

    David Waite wrote,

    You made every politician you’ve railed against for public bitchiness seem statesmanlike in comparison to this ‘mean queen’ confession.

    You’re still pissed at Timothy for his uncharacteristic rant at Barney Frank? This post of your is a lot nastier than is justified by anything in Timothy’s article about Ryan Idol. It reads like you’re still trying to get back at him for his Barney Frank article.

  9. Donny D.
    September 29, 2012

    Just to be clear, I started my previous post before Michael C had posted his, so I didn’t see what he’d written till I hit the Post button.

  10. Reed B
    September 29, 2012

    Thanks for sharing, Timothy.

    Actually, the story about you seems perfectly in character.

  11. Robert
    September 29, 2012

    Tim, it really seems like you have a “Mean Girl” streak. You take pride in manipulating drunks into bad actions, and giggle at their downfall. Are you so unhappy with your life that you have to take PRIDE in being an A-hole to people that are doing absolutely NOTHING to you?

    The more I read what you write, the less “nice” you seem to be. You wish to be sseet as pie to the religous right, wanting not to offend their sensibilities, but have no problem being an A-Hole to anyone else.

    You should be ashamed at your bullying tactics, and your nastiness to others for the sheer joy of going along with a client that got a twinkle in his eye. You really seem to relish taking down people who are already at the bottom of the barrel and who have hit rock bottom. I hope you never fall on bad times, and if you do, the self righteous of those times don’t act or behave like you.

    You claim to be a compassionate conservative, but it doesn’t seem like you have ANY compassion at all. A compassionate man doesn’t berate people in the worst times of their lives.

    Your attitude is why many people do not vote republican, because you show just how “compassionate” they really are.

  12. Michael C
    September 29, 2012

    “Which brings me to my Ryan Idol story. It’s not exactly that thrilling and doesn’t portray me in a particularly complimentary light…”

    Robert, I don’t interpret this statement as being prideful.

  13. tristram
    September 29, 2012

    Timothy posts a lot of interesting things on BTB, and I value his contribution. I disagree with a some of his opinions and am sometimes disconcerted, occasionally dismayed, by his tone. I could have done without the Ryan Idol post, particularly the personal anecdote at the end. But interestingly, Timothy’s less admirable posts don’t exactly bring out the best in his critics, either.

  14. Robert
    September 30, 2012

    Michael C,

    This posting by Timothy brought nothing to the table except disparaging remarks about someone that is easily mocked at this point in his life. It did nothing to further any kind of knowledge nor is it helpful for any situation we might be looking at in the current time period. ALL it is, is an attack on a man going to prison and snarky comments menat to demean him, for no other reason than some perverse pride in being “better” than someone else.

    If this article had some type of redemming quality then that would be something different. And one can be prideful and self-depracating at the same time. This article showwed no one in a good light, least of all the author.

    You are free to your opinion, as am I, and all this is is another in a long line of nasty posts against a person for some personal reason, rather than actually addressing an issue or need in the community. It isn’t even of a quality that would make Page 6.

  15. Rob Tisinai
    September 30, 2012

    David Waite, I don’t know whether I’m more of a “co-editor” or a contributor to Box Turtle Bulletin, but I can tell you I have no desire to police Timothy’s postings or restrain what you call his “tirades.”

  16. David Waite
    September 30, 2012

    @ Rob Tisinai, you are quite correct and I was very incorrect to even think, let alone suggest such a thing as restraining another human’s freedom of expression. Committing such a departure from over a half century of fighting against every form of censorship has forced me to take a long hard look at myself.

    I’ve also taken a long look at what I have allowed myself to associate with, and what effect such association has on my life and work. In the hours since I removed BTB from my home page, I see more clearly what a compromise of my core principles having BTB there was.

    I shall miss the site that brought me the Uganda series, the fight against ex-Gayism, the story of Daniel Fetty, the daily messages on GLBT history, heros and current events but I won’t miss feeling I need to take a shower each time I see or re-see certain headlines in the home page of my browser.

    Granted, those headlines are always at least partly redeemed by the quality of the comments they inevitably engender, but that is still a compromise I’m not willing to accept. Retaining BTB’s headlines box and referring people to the site is too close to an imprimatur of approval.

    I shall not trouble your blog with my presence again. This is my last comment here. I may get around to detailing my experiences here in another forum, since some of the people in that forum may find both my experiences and my reaction instructive.

  17. Jim Burroway
    October 1, 2012

    Let me just say this: if anyone is coming here with the expectation that they would not encounter an opinion that they disagree with, and perhaps strongly so, then this is completely the wrong web site for them.

  18. Désirée
    October 1, 2012

    I’m not sure what the point of this article was at all, but then I’m not a gay man and never involved myself with any kind of porn. Guess I’m just out of the loop (and still wishing BTB would break out of the all white male bubble they exist in)

  19. Sandhorse
    October 1, 2012



    ..how ANYONE could EVEN INSULT a homicidal EX-porn star is beyond imagining…

    “BTB, for 23 YEARS I’ve been DYING to tell you what I thought of you…and now…well being a Christian woman I CAN’T SAY IT!…”


    Yea, I know…not very original nor an Oscar winning performance. But, IMHO, it’s befitting the high drama from ‘Ouiser Boudreaux’ in this comments section.

  20. Michael C
    October 1, 2012

    Mr. Waite, If the benefits of BTB have been overshadowed by it’s effect on your blood pressure, I think you’re making the correct decision. I hope you are able to find a comparable source of gay related information. If you are unable, I look forward to seeing you back in the comment section.

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