Randy Thomas is gay

Timothy Kincaid

January 12th, 2015

Randy Thomas

From 2002 to 2013, Randy Thomas was the Executive Vice President of Exodus International, an umbrella organization for various ex-gay ministries across the nation. And for much of that time, Randy was committed to anti-gay political activism.

But towards the beginning of this decade, the leaders in a number of ex-gay ministries began to question some of the presumptions that held them together.

Some came to realize that while the identity and perspective of their members could be shifted, orientation (what they called same-sex attraction) seemed not to change. After a number of high-profile “lapses” and even more quiet resignations, it became apparent that even leadership was subject to the seeming rigidity of the direction of desire.

And familiarity with pro-family politicians and advocacy groups was disillusioning. It quickly became apparent that these groups were not truly supportive of those who were “struggling with their same-sex attractions”, but were simply bigots dressed up in religiosity. They were happy to use these ex-gays in their anti-gay advocacy, but they certainly didn’t consider them to be equals.

But what presented the greatest challenges, I believe, were the developing relationships with a number of gay people. They discovered that there was a broad spectrum of ‘homosexual activists’, and that many of them seemed little like the stereotypes that were depicted within the bubble of conservative Christianity. They found those who were devout Christians, who did not seek to ‘destroy decency’, and who spoke strongly in favor of equality using the language of faith.

And, undoubtedly, after the 2009 Conference on Homosexuality in Kampala, Uganda, in which an Exodus board member participated and which led to the proposal of the death penalty for some gay Ugandans, the leadership at Exodus was shocked. This ultimate consequence of their message was not at all what they intended.

It’s hard to know exactly what all contributed to the decision, but by 2013, the Exodus leadership had had enough. In June, Exodus announced that it was closing shop.

Shortly after, in July, Randy Thomas wrote an apology to the gay community. He owned the hurt he had caused along with his silence about the actions of others.

Over the past two years, I’ve seen Randy seeking greater truth about himself. He hasn’t rejected his faith, but in questioning how he had allowed himself to behave in ways that were not Christlike, he also has questioned some presumptions and attitudes that had once seemed integral. In the process he has found, I believe, a greater acceptance of both others and himself.

And perhaps it is this acceptance and quest for honesty that has brought Randy to the position of seeing himself in a way that perhaps he never has before: a devout, sincere, and faith-filled gay man.

Four or five times, in offline social settings, over the past five months I was asked if I was gay. Each time I answered, without hesitation, “I am bi-sexual with a propensity toward dudes.” That brought smiles each time and I was told that if I was bi, gay, … whatever, they wanted me to know they accepted me. But, this is the first time in my life where I felt there were inconsistencies between what was happening in some circles as opposed to others. I started seeing the potential of a fragmented life developing and I *never* want that. There is nothing more tortured than feeling like you can’t be consistently you wherever you are. These recent offline disclosures were leading to an issue of conscience for me. As I was thinking through and writing this post it became clear that it is most accurate to say that I am gay with a bisexual propensity that I can’t adequately describe :).

As for the future, Randy is more open to possibility than he has been in a long time.

Could I see myself with a man? Yes. Could I see myself with a woman? Yes. Could I see myself being celibate for the rest of my life? Yes. Today has its own troubles and I am not worrying about tomorrow. I rest in God’s grace and trust Him to be the Good Shepherd He has proven, over and over, to be.

I am very happy for Randy. In addition to his personal introspection and spiritual maturity, he has also taken on a number of personal goals, exploring his art and getting in a healthier physical state.

I hope that wherever he finds himself and with whom, that this exploration of integrity and growing comfort never ceases.

Timothy Kincaid

January 12th, 2015


A familiar name left the following on Randy’s FaceBook page:

Mark Yarhouse Thanks for your transparency, Randy. I wish you well.

Ben in oakland

January 13th, 2015

At least the note wasn’t “ambiguous, difficult, and complicated.”

enough already

January 13th, 2015

At this point, I find it enormously difficult to imagine Christians being anything but responsible for the deaths and torture of gays and transpeople.
The sooner the rest of the ‘ex-gay’ ‘therapists’ stop preying on children the better.


January 13th, 2015

“bigots dressed up in religiosity”

Brilliant! I’m going to use that.


January 13th, 2015

Timothy, thank you very much for this thoughtful post. You are spot on. This was deeply encouraging to read.

Love to you, Jim, and the crew here,

Priya Lynn

January 13th, 2015

Timothy said “Randy Thomas is gay”.

No, he’s bisexual. There’s no reason to believe he’s lying about that now and its wrong for you to try to deny reality.

Timothy Kincaid

January 13th, 2015

Priya Lynn,

I think we can let Randy speak for himself. He describes himself as “gay with a bisexual propensity that I can’t adequately describe”.

Priya Lynn

January 13th, 2015

I don’t see that quote in your post, but I do see this quote:

“I am bi-sexual with a propensity toward dudes.”

Priya Lynn

January 13th, 2015

And that was in response to being asked if he was gay.

Priya Lynn

January 13th, 2015

And that was his response each of the four or five times he was asked in social situations if he was gay.

Priya Lynn

January 13th, 2015

And in any event, even if he did
describe himself as “gay with a bisexual propensity that I can’t adequately describe” unless you’re asserting he’s lying about being attracted to both men and women its still only truthful to describe him as bisexual. That he’s okay with being called gay or labelling himself gay doesn’t make it true. Let’s not pretend that the nouns gay, bisexual, or straight mean anything other than who you’re attracted to.

I’ll leave it at that but I’m watching you…** points two fingers at her eyes and then at Timothy **


January 17th, 2015

Until I hear that Randy is sorry for teaching gay people that they are sinful and going to hell if they have gay sex, sorry for the deaths his superstitious baseless teachings caused, and that he will promote the opposite; and do time working in gay orgs that promote gay marriage love and stability, and tear down publically other exgay orgs, his apology is useless. He is still pushing that agenda. He is still willfully corrupting the natural order of sexuality native to this planet, to his financial and whimsical benefit. I do know he has no basis for apology with the sexual beliefs he holds. They are in direct contradiction to each other. It reads, “sorry it hurt, but I’m going to keep it up, regardless”. As far as I know, a relationship with a man for Randy includes celibacy. Yes that does exist in the sick world of desperate denial. He is unclear with his intentions on about every level.

He’s a very hurt young soul trying to grow up and figure out his mess while demeaning and destroying other peoples (sex) lives.

He should be jailed for crimes against humanity along with the rest of his lot. Advice? Study boundaries, then grow one.

The fact gay Randy re-came out as gay? Boring at best. It does nothing to the good for the resolution of severely mamed victims. Until we hear he has reversed all his insane religious sexual rhetoric, he will continue to mame, as always.


January 17th, 2015

PS Randy. Until you flip your corrupt negative finger pointing gay sexual beliefs entirely to the positive and supportive, you will not be accepted or forgiven by gay society in general.

I don’t care where you got your distorted beliefs.

That being said, could you please just go away? And while you are away, think about how many gay children’s lives you could have saved with all your energy you devoted to your weight loss and artwork you drummed up. You are really quite self absorbed considering your past and the lives you destroyed.

You seem to have no conscience about repairing your wrongs to foisted on others, whatsoever.

When you learn social manners, then come back to the table.

Until then, don’t go away mad.

Just. Go. Away.

Eric Payne

January 18th, 2015

Why is anyone giving these ex- ex-gay whack-a-doodles any positive press whatsoever?

They purposely inflicted psychological, spiritual and, in some instances, physical harm on others. They were greatly responsible for providing “information” and “expertise” to African and Russian lawmakers — said “information” and “expertise” resulting in prison sentences for being gay, or for not turning in gays to the cops, or “promoting” homosexuality.

Hey, news writers: These ex- ex-gays are publicity queens. They thrive on seeing their name in print. Thinking anyone gives a shit about what they say or do gives them a thrill.

As iDavid summarizes, they should: Just. Go. Away.


January 24th, 2015

You said on The Advocate that you support civil marriage but not religious marriage. What is your point here Randy? Why are you even here? Your days are OVER accept it. You’re still peddling the same better than worse than go to the back of the bus inflammatory rhetoric. Nothing’s changed as to still harming gay people. You think we don’t see right through you? You’re a grand disappointment since you decided to double up on coming out. When you have it ALL figured out …. blah blah blah.
For now, Call a cab and just drive forever. No articles no posts just you and the wind.

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