Posts Tagged As: Straight spouses

Exodus Co-Founder: We Were Abandoned When We Left Exodus

A multi-part video interview series with Michael Bussee, co-founder of Exodus International turned critic.

Daniel Gonzales

May 25th, 2010

Leading up to now we’ve had videos discussing Michael’s fear of the gay community and fears about what would happen if he left Exodus.

Today Michael talks about what actually happened when he finally did renounce Exodus and came out as a gay man.  What did Michael’s church do? What did his relatives do? What did his wife do? What did his fellow leaders at Exodus do?

One person in Michael’s life even graphically warned him of the flames of hell that await him.

Lastly Michael closes with a warning that even today people still fear the consequences and rejection when they try to leave Exodus.

(transcript after the jump)

Read the rest of this entry »

Carol Boltz’s Blog

Jim Burroway

December 9th, 2008

On Monday, we presented Ray Boltz’s new video, “Don’t Tell Me Who To Love.” That video and single came out just a few months after Boltz, a popular Contemporary Christian Music singer, came out of the closet publicly. He had come out privately some years earlier to his wife and other close associates.

Carol Boltz has been through a lot over the past few years. It’s one thing for the straight spouse to deal with a husband who has had to tell her that he’s gay. It’s quite another thing entirely when that husband is a well-known public figure.

Carol has a blog now, and she’s telling her side of the story. It’s a tremendous act of courage, as well as support:

Today I realized that I have recently signed two comments on my friend, Peterson’s, blog, with the closing, “my heart goes out to you.” I was responding to another wife, like me, of a gay man. She, like me, had all of the emotions to deal with when this deep secret was revealed. I can’t know how best to help this woman, but I knew that I could identify and share what has helped me. By closing in the way I did, I hope that she knows that someone else has been where she is today, and I lived through it.

Somehow I have made it out of my Christian fundamentalism, and the misconceptions of homosexuality that I had previously known, to a bigger understanding of gay people. My faith has been shaken, but it is still there. Without sounding presumptuous, and I surely don’t have all the answers to so many questions, I have grown more than I even thought or dreamed possible.

Many things have helped me in the past [almost] four years, and there are ways that hope has entered my life and my heart. I hope that I can offer that to other wives of gay men, and perhaps to my friends who read this, too.

Her blog is not only heartfelt and courageous, but it also has some great gems of simple common sense:

Speaking up for gay marriage, it is my belief that besides all the reasons mentioned in this article, it would make more sense for gay people to marry gay people, than for them to marry straight ones.

This is a blog by a woman who is still trying to sort things out from a very difficult position. I hope you will visit, read, and learn — and offer your words of support.

[Hat tip: Peterson Toscano. Even though Carol is my Facebook friend, I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t know about her blog.]


Featured Reports

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

In this original BTB Investigation, we unveil the tragic story of Kirk Murphy, a four-year-old boy who was treated for “cross-gender disturbance” in 1970 by a young grad student by the name of George Rekers. This story is a stark reminder that there are severe and damaging consequences when therapists try to ensure that boys will be boys.

Slouching Towards Kampala: Uganda’s Deadly Embrace of Hate

When we first reported on three American anti-gay activists traveling to Kampala for a three-day conference, we had no idea that it would be the first report of a long string of events leading to a proposal to institute the death penalty for LGBT people. But that is exactly what happened. In this report, we review our collection of more than 500 posts to tell the story of one nation’s embrace of hatred toward gay people. This report will be updated continuously as events continue to unfold. Check here for the latest updates.

Paul Cameron’s World

In 2005, the Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that “[Paul] Cameron’s ‘science’ echoes Nazi Germany.” What the SPLC didn”t know was Cameron doesn’t just “echo” Nazi Germany. He quoted extensively from one of the Final Solution’s architects. This puts his fascination with quarantines, mandatory tattoos, and extermination being a “plausible idea” in a whole new and deeply disturbing light.

From the Inside: Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out”

On February 10, I attended an all-day “Love Won Out” ex-gay conference in Phoenix, put on by Focus on the Family and Exodus International. In this series of reports, I talk about what I learned there: the people who go to these conferences, the things that they hear, and what this all means for them, their families and for the rest of us.

Prologue: Why I Went To “Love Won Out”
Part 1: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Part 2: Parents Struggle With “No Exceptions”
Part 3: A Whole New Dialect
Part 4: It Depends On How The Meaning of the Word "Change" Changes
Part 5: A Candid Explanation For "Change"

The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths

At last, the truth can now be told.

Using the same research methods employed by most anti-gay political pressure groups, we examine the statistics and the case studies that dispel many of the myths about heterosexuality. Download your copy today!

And don‘t miss our companion report, How To Write An Anti-Gay Tract In Fifteen Easy Steps.

Testing The Premise: Are Gays A Threat To Our Children?

Anti-gay activists often charge that gay men and women pose a threat to children. In this report, we explore the supposed connection between homosexuality and child sexual abuse, the conclusions reached by the most knowledgeable professionals in the field, and how anti-gay activists continue to ignore their findings. This has tremendous consequences, not just for gay men and women, but more importantly for the safety of all our children.

Straight From The Source: What the “Dutch Study” Really Says About Gay Couples

Anti-gay activists often cite the “Dutch Study” to claim that gay unions last only about 1½ years and that the these men have an average of eight additional partners per year outside of their steady relationship. In this report, we will take you step by step into the study to see whether the claims are true.

The FRC’s Briefs Are Showing

Tony Perkins’ Family Research Council submitted an Amicus Brief to the Maryland Court of Appeals as that court prepared to consider the issue of gay marriage. We examine just one small section of that brief to reveal the junk science and fraudulent claims of the Family “Research” Council.

Daniel Fetty Doesn’t Count

Daniel FettyThe FBI’s annual Hate Crime Statistics aren’t as complete as they ought to be, and their report for 2004 was no exception. In fact, their most recent report has quite a few glaring holes. Holes big enough for Daniel Fetty to fall through.