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Learn to be a Wackadoodle

Timothy Kincaid

June 9th, 2010

It looks like Peter LaBarbera is seeking to put more seats in his Wackadoodle Express and he’s looking for fresh young bodies to fill them. Yes, the Peter has started a “school” and is now out recruiting children.

We’re delighted to announce the debut of our ongoing “Americans For Truth Academy,” designed to train young people (as well as older pro-family advocates) how to answer “gay” activist misinformation and fight the homosexual-bisexual-transsexual agenda.

And from the folks he’s lined up as “teachers”, it’s clearly a Wackadoodle School:

  • Robert Knight, Coral Ridge Ministries
  • Peter LaBarbera, Americans For Truth About Homosexuality
  • Ryan Sorba, Young Conservatives of California
  • Prof. Robert Gagnon, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary
  • Prof. Rena Lindevaldsen, Liberty University Law School
  • Matt Barber, Liberty Counsel
  • Laurie Higgins, Illinois Family Institute
  • Greg Quinlan, Parents and Friends of Gays and Ex-Gays

I could not have hand-picked a more extreme group than this one. Wackadoodles, one and all. But don’t get your hopes up, this is a double triple super secret Wackadoodle School.

Prospective attendees will need to be approved with references; this is not open to pro-homosexual activists but only to those who share AFTAH’s belief that homosexuality is immoral and that the GLBT movement is destructive to America and a direct threat to our religious freedom.

And what will they learn?

I know it’s all secret-secret, but I’ve taken the liberty of imagining a syllabus.

Robert Knight may open off by sharing that Matthew Shepard is burning in Hell and then may go on to quote a little of Paul Cameron’s work before defending racist and homophobic violence.

Matt Barber will teach them that homosexuality is one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it love. And Laurie Higgins will tell the kiddies that it is their Christian duty to support the culture of disapproval and condemnation towards their gay classmates.

Robert Gagnon will provide the scholarly religious perspective by insisting that because the gospels are actually a retelling of an earlier writing, therefore the Roman Centurion who asked Jesus to heal his “pais” was actually a Jewish administrator asking about his son… but any Scripture that might possibly condemn homosexuality is to be taken literally and applied as condemnation of today’s gay and lesbian community. (Students may not wish to sit in the front, Gagnon is inclined to angry ranting.)

Next Greg Quinlan will give a personal touch by telling how he once was a homosexual but now he is a very heterosexual man who out of Christian conviction is living celibately since his wife divorced him. And Ryan Sorba will support him by declaring that reparative therapy is a proven success, regardless of what pro-sodomy activists say. Quinlan may also spend some time arguing that ex-gay is an orientation and that Disneyland is the devil’s playground. (Students are advised not to ask questions to either of these presenters as they might incite confrontation and claim martyrdom.)

Finally Rena Lindevaldsen will give you secret tips on how kidnap the children of militant gay activists and flee the country to South America – all without a job or speaking Spanish – so as to make sure those children have a stable normal life.

And before breaking at the end of the weekend to return to fight the good fight, Peter LaBarbera will announce the much anticipated 2009 Grinch Award winners, followed by an exciting slide show of sodomites in action. This will have much nudity and will emphasize kink and S/M so it should be very stirring and uplifting. LaBarbera will be on hand to model the leatherman outfits he uses to infiltrate sex parties and to discuss in detail the exact mechanics of specific sexual acts for a select few; be sure to apply for this very special presentation.

Comments

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Darlene
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

Soooooo I’m actually considering going to this to see what really goes on at these heterosexual hotbeds of perversion. If this stuff actually gets leaked, does anyone have any idea if there could possibly be any legal consequences?

In any case, I was hoping somebody could help me out with this. References are required to be admitted to the program, and the price of admission’s not cheap – $99 or $199 – whew! I’d be really appreciative if anyone were willing to help out with either!

elajoqi@gmail.com is my email

John in the Bay Area
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

I don’t really think any of these characters should be allowed to come within 100 feet of a child (any child, including their own).

And I am not so sure it is a good idea for them to be around adults either.

Lindoro Almaviva
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

He forgot George Rekers!

paul j stein
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

Now will they be in violation of child endangerment laws by exposing pornography to minors? And will it be by a group of co-conspirators?

Richard Rush
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

According to Peter’s SPLC-certified hate site, there are special incentives for sponsoring young people (ages 14-25).

It’s just breathtaking to imagine the kind of parent that would send their 14 year old kid to a Gay Bashing Academy. I suppose there will be special classes for the youngsters to help them polish their bullying techniques for when they go back to school in the fall.

Seriously, I could imagine a parent sending their kid because they fear he may be gay, and that Gay Bashing Academy would scare the gay out of him.

——————-

PS: I wonder which one (or more) of the “professors” is looking forward to some slow-learning twinks that may need some private tutoring and maybe some wackadoodle action. And some of the older out-of-town attendees may need a twink to lift their luggage.

Jamie
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

I find it very interesting that these individuals claim that the LGBT population indoctrinate children, yet what is this but a school designed to indoctrinate children with an anti-LGBT viewpoint.

Ben in Oakland
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

Let’s see how they are going to turn this into a fund raising pitch.

Candace
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

Oh, doesn’t EVERYONE want to go to a school where the headmaster dresses in leather chaps with his flabby white *ss hanging out?

I’ll have to continue later… the mental image of Porno Pete in his teachin’ leathers has made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Jim Burroway
June 9th, 2010 | LINK

Timothy, you’re still mad that he didn’t give you the Grinch award, aren’t you?

justsearching
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

Let me get this straight. People who have lots of personal disdain for gays will be charging other people who already have some disdain for gays in order to make them have more disdain for gays.

What an interesting school.

Paul in Canada
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

What? No Rev. Fred Phelps to teach ‘marketing and communication’?!!!

gayuganda
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

tut tut tut….

You forgot one, visiting lecturer from, you guessed…. Uganda.

Pastor Martin Ssempa, PhD….

specialist subject ‘to eat da poo poo’!

Priya Lynn
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

Doot do do do doodle doot do do do do…

That’s it, you people have held me back long enough, I’m going to clown college.

Regan DuCasse
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

I assure you, I’m not offended so much as dismayed.
The RBBB logo there, is sporting the visages of three friends of mine, who are exceptionally talented clowns…and very gay friendly people as well.

I am, a former RBBB circus dancer/aerialist/elephant rider and I was just wondering if another image would have sufficed?

Having said that…

What Peter LaB and co are planning is so sick and twisted. Don’t the stories of children tormenting another child to the point of suicide over perception of homosexuality bad enough?!

Isn’t the cold, calculated murders of children like Lawrence King, Sakia Gunn and Freddy Martinez something that they’d have to admit has roots in exactly what they want to reinforce in the young?

Is this their agenda, more dead kids? The urgency of OUR message, is legitimate and necessary.

Do they have ANY positive, life enhancing and non violent results to point to for all their teaching?
ONLY that might, justify their actions.

But there is nothing positive that could come from it. Just more pain and unnecessary suffering inflicted on people because these agents prefer fear and ignorance over honesty and peaceful social cooperation for children.

I don’t think the ADL, SPLC and GLSEN and so on could act too soon against something like this.

This is far beyond 1st amendment rights.
When lives are at stake, there at least has to be warnings against what the outcomes of such enterprise actually is.

Paula Brooks
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

May be we should tell Ike Skleton about this school….

cooner
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

Heh, Regan … funny … I was just coming in here to leave the old standby comment …

Don’t compare these people to clowns. It’s an insult to clowns everywhere.

*rimshot*

Timothy Kincaid
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

Regan,

I thought about you when I put this picture up… but I thought it would make you smile instead of upset you.

I am hoping that people can catch the irony of contrasting a real clown school – an organization dedicated to teaching others how to bring laughter and joy – with this academy of “clowns” who are dedicated to teaching others to bring anguish and harm.

Emily K
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

those clowns are f***in’ scary as hell.. and i don’t even have a clown phobia.

Emily K
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

also, yeah, clown college is HARD. You have to have the “right stuff” to graduate.

Ringling also set up an excellent program for video game design in their art school.

Regan DuCasse
June 10th, 2010 | LINK

I wasn’t upset, just a little surprised. But no worries.
I AM smiling because I know what a sweetheart you are and you meant to make a good point.
And…you did.

William
June 11th, 2010 | LINK

Although my natural first reaction to the launch of this so-called academy is one of contempt and derision – which, of course, it richly deserves – there is a more serious aspect to be considered.

Given that some parents may be sufficiently ill-advised as to send their children to this program, by the law of averages some of these young people will themselves be gay, whether or not they are yet aware of it; others will be the brothers, sisters or other relatives of young gay people. What effect will it have on them? I find the prospect quite frightening.

Bill S
June 11th, 2010 | LINK

Oh, I so wish I could pass for 25 to go undercover. How hard could it be? They parrot the same stuff over and over again.
But I’d pretend to be REALLY hardcore anti-gay, just to see how much they’d agree with me. Just to ratchet it up further, I’ll refuse to speak to Laurie Higgens, since the Bible expreessly forbids women from teaching, so her presence means she’s an ungodly woman. “Cast that whore out of here!”

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