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Report on Tony Perkin’s impact on General Mills

Timothy Kincaid

September 15th, 2013

It has been barely three days since I brought you the glorious news that media darling Tony Perkins had lent all of his prestige and influence to bringing General Mills to its knees. And I can now report on the tremendous response from good family-supporting people from across this great nation’s fruited plain.

Yes, in the brief moment since last Friday, the Dump General Mills signatory list has shot through the roof. In a mere 70-some hours, good wholesome people have rushed en masse to the site to add their name, promising that they too will “look for substitutes that I can purchase”. Today I can tell you, though I am humbled to do so, that the National Organization for Marriage’s project has grown to 26488 Signatures. Yes, dozens of people, a stunning total of 41 new dedicated souls have made that anonymous commitment.

And Tony Perkins should feel gratified that he has truly contributed. And though he is but doing what he knows is best, surely in a quiet moment he must be buoyed by the knowledge that his word alone can drive tens of people to join him in his battle for a more godly nation.

So supporters of traditional biblical marriage, take heart. While General Mills’ annual revenues are roughly seventeen billion dollars, and though the company’s sales are up some 7.5% from a year ago, just think, if each and every signatory ‘looks for a substitute’ for their Betty Crocker Devil’s Food Cake Mix, if each and every signatory ‘looks for a substitute’ to their Pillsbury rolls, why in no time General Mills may feel it on their bottom line.

Comments

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Sir Andrew
September 16th, 2013 | LINK

Fruited plain, please.

jerry
September 16th, 2013 | LINK

Sir Andrew, I was wondering about that “fruited plane” myself.

Timothy Kincaid
September 16th, 2013 | LINK

It must have been a subconscious typo.

My first flight was on Hughes Airwest and their planes were all painted bright yellow. They were called the Flying Bananas.

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