Box Turtle Bulletin

Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
This article can be found at:
Latest Posts

Posts for June, 2009

Heterosexual Menace: Fox Reality Show To Promote “Traditional” Marriages

Jim Burroway

June 6th, 2009

Arranged marriages, that is:

Production has already been completed on the pilot, which centers on a woman who is in her late 30s and is eager to get hitched. A group of friends and family are presented with five eligible men, and the group slowly picks off the guys until one is left standing.

As each man is booted out, the bride-to-be gets her first look (“Dating Game” style) at who she won’t be marrying. By the end of the episode, she finally meets the guy she’s going to marry — and the ceremony is held. Each week focuses on another potential coupling.

Heterosexual Menace: Teaching Heterosexuality In The Public Schools

Jim Burroway

May 29th, 2009

If opposite-sex marriage becomes legal, then they’ll be teaching heterosexuality to your children in the public schools:

Radical heterosexualist Melissa Weber

Radical heterosexualist Melissa Weber

A middle school teacher has been arrested after authorities said she had sexual trysts with a 14-year-old student in a Queens classroom after school.

Social studies teacher Melissa Weber was awaiting arraignment late Thursday on rape, sexual abuse and child endangerment charges. Prosecutors don’t know whether she has a lawyer, and no telephone number can be found for her home.

Prosecutors say Weber had sex with the boy seven times at M.S./I.S. 8 this month and last. Prosecutors say the teen’s mother heard about the liaison Wednesday and found hundreds of contacts with the 27-year-old teacher in her son’s cell phone.

There’s more heterosexual menace here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Can’t Get Pregnant? Pimp Your Daughter

Jim Burroway

April 2nd, 2009

There’s more than one way to be pro-family. Like this couple from Pennsylvania:

A Uniontown woman accused of drugging a 13-year-old girl so a man could try to impregnate the teen said nothing Thursday as she was led to jail, but her minister said he feels that she is innocent of the charges. Uniontown police said Shana K. Brown, 32, and Duane Calloway, 40, concocted the plan to surreptitiously impregnate the girl because Brown can’t have more children.

…Brown, accompanied by her minister, turned herself in to police yesterday. She declined comment as she was led to jail in handcuffs. Her minister, the Rev. John Harris of Uniontown’s Church of God in Christ, said he believes Brown is innocent.

Calloway is also in custody. It’s good to know the couple have God on their side. What else are heterosexuals doing to protect the family? Find out here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Been There, Done That, Got the T-Shirt

Jim Burroway

March 18th, 2009

How’s this for a threat to marriage?

A Florida man wearing an “I ♥ My Marriage” t-shirt was arrested last night for allegedly choking his wife during an argument in their Tampa-area home. Bradley Gellert, a 32-year-old financial consultant, was busted by Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office deputies and booked into jail on a felony domestic battery by strangulation charge. According to a police report, Gellert, pictured in the mug shot, got into an argument with his wife and “screamed at the victim and threw numerous items.” He then allegedly “grabbed the victim’s neck and strangled her,” which “prevented the victim from breathing normally.”

The T-shirt was a merchandising item promoting a 2008 movie “Fireproof,” staring Kirk Cameron. The Christian-themed movie didn’t do much at the box office, but it apparently was a hit among evangelicals. It’s about a fireman who became born again and set out to save his failing marriage. Somehow I don’t think that message stuck with Gellert.

Heterosexual Menace: Recruitment In Daycare

Jim Burroway

March 16th, 2009
Heterosexuals Stephen E. Quick (left) and Samantha Light (right).

Heterosexuals Stephen E. Quick (left) and Samantha Light (right).

From Indiana:

A couple who ran a baby-sitting service out of their home videotaped themselves performing sex acts with children, some as young as 2 months old, police said Friday. Stephen E. Quick, 31, and Samantha Light, 25, both of Veedersburg in western Indiana, were being held on $100,000 bond in Fountain County Jail. Both faced preliminary charges of child molestation and child exploitation. Jail staff did not know whether either one had an attorney. Police who searched the couple’s home found a videotape depicting sex acts involving Quick and Light and at least four different children between the ages of 2 months and 6 years old, said Fountain County Sheriff’s Deputy Bob Kemp.

…Deputies seized several computers, cameras, a video camera, pornographic materials, drugs and drug paraphernalia. Several sex toys that appeared in the video were seized during a second search, police said.

I love the names Quick and Light. It almost sounds downright Christian somehow. There’s a video report here. And here they think we’re the ones recruiting!

I know it’s hard to keep up, but we try to keep tabs on all of the dangerous things those heterosexuals are doing here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: BTB reader Louie]

Heterosexual Menace: Two Utah Teachers Seduce Same Young Boy

Jim Burroway

March 7th, 2009
Valynne Bowers (left) and Linda Neff (right)

Valynne Bowers (left) and Linda Nef (right)

Must be all that porn:

Two Bountiful Junior High School teachers are accused of sexually assaulting the same 13-year-old student, after their separate relationships with him spiraled from personal conversations to the exchange of sexual text messages and phone sex, authorities said.

On Friday, the Davis County Attorney’s Office filed first-degree felony charges of rape and sodomy on a child against Linda R. Nef, 46, and Valynne Bowers, 39.

Nef, a Utah studies teacher and cheerleading adviser, and Bowers, who teaches math, each confessed to having sex with the student, said Bountiful Police Lt. Randy Pickett. Until recently, the two teachers did not know about each other’s relationship with the same boy, Pickett said.

According to Utah law, these two teachers can fight it out over who wins the affections of the thirteen-year-old student in another five years. And according to Utah law, that then-eighteen-year-old can even pick one and marry her, conviction and all (assuming it comes to that). But same sex partners don’t have the right to even visit each other in the hospital if one should fall seriously ill.

You can read keep tabs on what those dangerous heterosexuals are up to here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: reader Louie]

Heterosexual Menace: Stop Her Before She Marries Again

Jim Burroway

February 21st, 2009

Apparently for one Anderson, Indiana woman, protecting the sanctity of marriage involves getting married as often as possible:

She has been Mrs. Scott, Mrs. Street and Mrs. Smith. She was also Mrs. Moyer, Mrs. Massie and Mrs. McMillan. But the former Mrs. Berisford, Mrs. Chandler and Mrs. Essex was born Linda Lou Taylor. … More than a decade ago, the 68-year-old found her own way to bring Indiana a Guinness world record: She got hitched for the 23rd time.

She’s single again, and she’d would like to find someone to settle down with. Again. She means it this time. She also says that her first marriage was for love, but her last one in 1996 was for publicity.

Publicity!

And to think that we can’t get married for love or money.

You can read more about what those heterosexuals are up to here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Forced Conversions

Jim Burroway

February 17th, 2009

This just in from Toledo:

A Toledo man accused of kidnapping, handcuffing and holding captive in an adult diaper a 22-year-old woman he picked up off the streets in Detroit may have been trying to save her, authorities say.

Troy Brisport, 34, also read the Bible to Shykea Boykin, the Detroit woman who told investigators Brisport handcuffed her by the wrists and ankles in his West Toledo apartment. He also took off her clothes and dressed her in an adult diaper, and gave her little to eat and drink, she told investigators.

Three days later, Boykin sneaked out of the apartment, still handcuffed by the wrists, in a diaper and a t-shirt, banging on neighboring apartment doors and finally on doors outside, police said.

Now who exactly is trying to “force” others to accept their lifestyle choices?

There’s more heterosexual outrage here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: “Life Is Short. Have An Affair.”

Jim Burroway

February 3rd, 2009


A pitch for adultery found a home in Houston, where local television stations aired a commercial for AshleyMadison.com, an online dating service for married people looking for outside lovers.

Even though heterosexuals like to talk a blue streak about the virtues of monogamy, the Toronto-based dating service — their tagline is “Life is short. Have an affair.” — signed up a quarter-million members in the past few months. Maybe those quarter-million new members were drawn by AshleyMadison.com’s Have-an-affair-or-your-money-back guarantee.

Houston, Dallas and San Antonio are AshleyMadison.com’s fastest-growing markets. Even though the ad had been banned from national broadcast by the NFL and NBC, Houston’s KPRC elected to show it.

YouTube Preview Image

Hey, at least they didn’t interrupt their broadcast with straight porn with full frontal male nudity (NSFW).

There’s more heterosexual outrage here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: The Real Threat In Schools

Jim Burroway

February 3rd, 2009

Peter LaBarbera has his hair on fire over openly gay Ron Huberman being named CEO of Chicago’s public schools. He’s afraid that Huberman’s appointment will send a message that being gay is “normative to impressionable Chicago students.” Perhaps LaBarbera should show more concern about some very direct messages — in the form of text messages — that some educators are sending to young impressionable students:

49-year-old female teacher from a Phoenix elementary school was arrested at a hotel Saturday after luring a 14-year-old boy there through text messages that portrayed herself as a sexually active teenager, according to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office. Rosanna Brown of Chandler, an English teacher at Ed Pastor Elementary School, 2101 W. Alta Vista Road, admitted to having sexual relations with the boy, according to the sheriff’s office.

… Brown had checked into the hotel on Saturday and when the boy arrived at the hotel, he claimed the room was dark, and believed he was having sex with a teenage girl, [Sheriff Joe] Arpaio said. But then the boy realized it was his English teacher, Arpaio told the Tribune.

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Shock Collars, Shootings, Incest — But No Gay Adoption

Jim Burroway

February 2nd, 2009

From Xenia, Ohio, we have a father who disciplined his children by using shock collars:

The Caesarscreek Twp. man who used a shock collar and water torture to discipline three of his four children was sentenced to 16 years in prison by Greene County Common Pleas Court Judge J. Timothy Campbell Monday. David O. Liskany, 39, of Hussey Road, was sentenced to six years each for two counts of second-degree felonious assault and to four years for one count of third-degree attempted felonious assault.

“The only thing you didn’t do was wrap their faces in cheesecloth. They basically were waterboarded,” Campbell said before handing down his sentence, which was far harsher than the 4 years in prison recommended by state probation authorities. According to Campbell, Liskany abused three of his four children — who were 13, 11 and four at the time of the abuse — by using a dog’s shock collar on them, holding them underwater, subjecting them to cold showers and spraying water up their noses.

Authorities found out when the older boy ran away from home, walking fifteen miles to a relative. Liskany’s ex-wife Wendy Liskany pleaded for the court to not jail her ex-husband. “I don’t feel that incarcerating him will help,” she said.

Maybe Liskany had to use such creative measures because they spoiled their children when they were younger. These parents from New York were determined not to make that mistake:

A 5-month-old child is in critical condition Saturday in what police suspect is a child abuse case. Police say they have charged the girl’s father, Scott Archbold, 41, with causing the injuries including multiple bone fractures, internal bleeding and signs of prior abuse. Christina Benjamin, (above right) the infant’s mother, has been charged with child endangerment for allegedly failing to get the child medical attention after the infant’s grandmother suspected the abuse.

But at least Liskany and the Archbold-Benjamins didn’t just kill their entire families outright.

Armed with a handgun, [Ervin Antonio] Lupoe evidently roamed room to room starting as early as Monday evening, fatally shooting his wife and five young children — including two sets of twins.

Early Tuesday, Lupoe faxed a bitter, rambling two-page letter to a local television station blaming his employer for his actions. Though his wife and children were already dead, he also called the station threatening to kill his family, investigators believe. He followed this up with an incongruous call to police saying that he had returned home and that “my whole family has been shot.”

Fortunately, not all heterosexuals are so violent. This father loved his daughter so much, he had four children by her. He didn’t care much for his grandchildren-children though:

The father, Danial Rinehart, 47, is scheduled to appear in court Thursday. Authorities say three of the four babies he fathered by the second-oldest daughter, who is now 19, are dead. A 3-year-old boy is alive and in state custody. Rinehart is charged with second-degree felony murder, child endangerment, two counts of incest and two counts of abandonment of a corpse. The remains of two infants were found in chest-type coolers.

His wife, Linda Rinehart, is charged with child endangerment. Authorities say she was jealous of the relationship between her husband and daughter but helped with the babies’ deliveries.

Obviously, we need to put a stop to this sort of abusive family dynamics. That’s why a Tennessee state legislator is introducing legislation to ban adoption by same-sex parents. It’s also why a West Virginia judge thinks a 2-year-old girl would be much better off if she were ripped from the only parents she has ever known. Her lesbian fostor parents have cared for her since birth and now want to adopt her.

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: There’s Hope In Jesus

Jim Burroway

January 14th, 2009

Usually we use these heterosexual menace posts to highlight the many tragic ways in which heterosexuals pose a serious threat to society’s morals and health, as they pursue their empty lifestyles of misery, hopelessness and loneliness.

The good news is that heterosexuals don’t have to be victims of their compulsions. A new organization, Leviticus International, stands ready to help millions find true freedom in their struggle with heterosexuality. According to the web site, “Jesus Christ has the power to end heterosexuals’ misery and make them happy well-adjusted gays.”

You can read more about the misery and emptiness of the heterosexual lifestyle here and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Heterosexual Menace: Exodus 21:7 Returns

Jim Burroway

January 13th, 2009

In today’s verse we read this in Exodus 21:7-11, in which God himself told Moses:

“If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as menservants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.

In today’s news, we read:

Police have arrested a Greenfield [California] man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat. Police say they only learned of the deal after 36-year-old Marcelino de Jesus Martinez went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn’t made as promised. Martinez was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.

Officers also arrested 18-year-old Margarito de Jesus Galindo on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with Galindo, but she’s under California’s legal age of consent and can’t legally marry. Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.

Now you see, if de Jesus had only followed the Biblical model and paid the man, he wouldn’t be in trouble with the police right now.

You can read more examples of the heterosexual menace here, and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: Homer]

Heterosexual Menace: Now Elementary School Teachers Are Recruiting Children!!!

Jim Burroway

January 12th, 2009

A married elementray school teacher in Abington, MA has been arrested and charged with seven counts of statutory rape of a teen. The boy was thirteen years old when he lost his virginity to Christine A. McCallum, 29, a teacher at an Abington elementary school. McCallum plied the boy with alcohol and had her way with him an estimated 300 times. According to the now-sixteen year old teen, this went on for about 18 months, about every other day. The seven counts in the indictments represent specific incidents that police were able to document.

Some of these trysts happened in the teacher’s home as her husband slept upstairs. She also wrote him passionate love letters, some of which are now in police custody. McCallum’s neighbors, of course, who are also probably all heterosexuals themselves since Abington is an overwhelmingly heterosexual community, all claimed they didn’t know what was going on.

You can read more about what heterosexuals really want here, and in our report, “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

[Hat tip: Peter, who read this halfway around the world in Australia.]

Heterosexual Menace: Christian Missionary Impregnates Daughter

Jim Burroway

December 22nd, 2008

Saddleback Pastor Rick Warren recently compared same-sex marriage to incest. That was taken as an insult by gay activists. Maybe we misunderstood him. Maybe it was meant to be a compliment:

A Christian missionary who impregnated his 17-year-old daughter was sentenced to 12.5 years in prison Monday. The 44-year-old man was convicted by a Pima County [Arizona] jury last month of four counts of sexual conduct with a minor and one count of child abuse. According to court documents, the daughter called the Tucson Police Department last summer and told detectives that her father had been sexually abusing her since the age of 12.

The girl said that her father and mother were Christian missionaries who traveled from state-to-state and much of the abuse had occurred in Colorado and Arizona.

Oh, and get this:

Her mother learned of the abuse by reading her diary, but instead of confronting the father, the girl said her mother threw her diary out of a car window.

…She said her father told her God told him to have sex with her and she should think of him as her husband. Her father also often quoted Scriptures during the acts.

But we’re the ones posing a danger to the “5,000 year old institution.”

You can read more about the Heterosexual Agenda here.

[Hat tip: Homer]

Heterosexual Menace: A Fine Way To Raise A Son

Jim Burroway

December 8th, 2008

In Pennsylvania:

A Mt. Holly Springs husband and wife whose 12-year-old son was accused of raping a 3-year-old girl he was baby-sitting in August 2007 were found guilty Wednesday of endangering the welfare of a child and corruption of minors.

The parents, ages 38 and 43, were charged when a search warrant served in investigation of their son’s statements turned up more than 3,000 Polaroid pictures the father had taken showing the mother in “provocative” poses and “various forms of undress,” prosecutors said. In about 40 of those pictures, the son was near the mother — sometimes within two feet or less of her, police said.

Police were tipped to the material when they boy told investigators that “it didn’t seem that [he and the 3-year-old] had as much fun as [the parents] did in the video,” before leading them to videos recorded by his parents in their home.

“At the time I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, as long as he wasn’t paying attention,” the father testified, saying his son had been absorbed in television and video games when the pictures were taken. “Now I realize how stupid it was.”

The parents’ names are being withheld to protect their son’s identity. Pennsylvania is one of only twenty states where they haven’t yet “protected” marriage from the gays.

Heterosexual Menace: Their Marriage Is Perfectly Valid

Jim Burroway

December 4th, 2008

Even though she has sex with dogs and young teens while he takes pictures:

A Palm Coast couple was arrested Tuesday on charges of lewd and lascivious battery and contributing to the delinquency of a minor in connection with a 2004 incident involving sex with dogs. David Maldonado, 42, and his wife, Carla Maldonado, 40, were being held in the Flagler County Inmate Facility. …

To be fair, Carla really loves dogs. She was a longtime employee for the Flagler County Humane Society.

The Sheriff’s office also found photos of Carla Maldonado having sex with a 15-year-old female while her husband took pictures. The couple also provided the minor with alcohol.

This couple is legally married, and the state of Florida thinks their marriage is perfectly dandy. Florida schoolchildren are being taught that their marriage is just as good as anyone else’s — except for gay people. Because, you know, that’s a much bigger threat to marriage than people who have sex with dogs and with 15-year-old family friends.

Good thing all of those “pro-family” Floridians saved the fine institution of marriage from us gays.

[Hat tip: Reader Erin]

See also:
Heterosexual Menace: Straight Married Couple Tortures Teen
The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths

Heterosexual Menace: Straight Married Couple Tortures Teen

Jim Burroway

December 3rd, 2008

Can you imagine the blood-curdling headlines from some people if this had been a same-sex couple?

A Girl Scout leader and her husband were arrested after an emaciated, terrified and nearly naked 17-year-old showed up at a gym with a chain locked to his ankle, saying he had just fled his captors, authorities said Tuesday… The boy, who authorities said ran away from a Sacramento foster home last year, came into the In-Shape Sports Club in Tracy on Monday wearing only boxer briefs and covered in what appeared to be soot, gym manager Chuck Ellis said. Tracy is about 70 miles south of Sacramento.

Ellis said the teen was scared someone was going to come after him and asked to be hidden. “He said, ’Don’t let them get me, don’t let them get me,”’ Ellis said. “He was totally terrified.” The boy said he had been held captive for nearly a year, said Ellis, adding that he looked as if he were only 10 to 12 years old.

Police arrested Michael Schumacher, 34, his Girl Scout leader wife Kelly Layne Lau, 30. Don’t they look like a fine heterosexual, as-God-intended husband and wife?

And guess what? Schoolchildren in California will be taught that the Schumacher-Lau marriage is just as good as anyone else’s. Good thing Californians saved the fine institution of marriage from us gays.

See also:
The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths

Caught: Teacher Indoctrinating Students About Gay Marriage

Timothy Kincaid

October 21st, 2008

It’s true that teachers are trying to indoctrinate children with their own views about same-sex marriage without consulting with parents or even giving them the option to not have their kids subjected to the teacher’s political beliefs.

The Californian reports

A Salinas High School teacher who distributed “Yes on Proposition 8” literature to her students last week has been asked to refrain from doing so by administrators.

School children were being exposed to issues about multiple-partner sex and other sexual practices and arrangements without even a parent being informed of content in the material provided.

The literature that was passed out to students says it is important to protect marriage as an institution between a man and a woman.

The one-page statement also says it is critical to vote yes on Proposition 8, saying its failure would eventually force the state to approve “polygamy, polymory, incest, group and other ‘creative’ arrangements for marriage.”

Oh the tragedy. The shock and horror. I should prepare an advertisement claiming that Yes on 8 is teaching school children about “King and Queen and Queen and Niece“.

Crazy YouTube of the Day

Jim Burroway

September 11th, 2008

My favorite part — besides the sword prop — is when he says, “I’ll just leave you with that” at the 2:31 mark, and then goes on to repeat himself over and over for another three whole minutes.

YouTube Preview Image
The United Unified Belief: I suspect this is what homophobia on pot looks like.

Newer Posts | Older Posts