Box Turtle Bulletin

Box Turtle BulletinNews, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
“Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife…”
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Posts for August, 2008

Heterosexual Agenda: They Want To Breed Sex Slaves

Jim Burroway

August 20th, 2008

Hot of the AP wires:

A Pennsylvania medical student told a classmate he was trying to recruit a New Zealand woman and her 4-year-old daughter to start a society of sex slaves that would live on a farm or island, the FBI said.

…[Thirty-year-old Jeremy] Noyes wanted them to move in with him, she said, and his intent was to have sex with the woman and her daughter and breed a family of female sex slaves, according to the affidavit.

And they will let nothing stand in their way:

The tipster, using a pseudonym, submitted a complaint on an FBI Web page in June in which she wrote, “Noyes has threatened to kill me and my family … (and) will not rest until we are dead. All the evidence you need is in his computer and that little girl’s mind. Please save her.”

And get this — the classmate had already been Noyes sex slave.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. You can read more about what heterosexuals have planned for your children in “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.”

Study Links Virus to Rare Cancer In Heterosexual Men

Jim Burroway

July 8th, 2008

There’s a headline you don’t see every day. This is almost the mirror image of the study which sparked the MRSA panic last January: A virus that had been causing cancer in women and gay men has been found in straight men in pretty high numbers. It’s just one small study though, just like the one that inspired worldwide headlines of a new killer superbug threatening homosexual men. So where’s the panic this time? After all, HPV is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases out there.

Paging Peter LaBarbera and Matt Barber

Birds of a Feather: “Monogamous” Marriage Defenders

Jim Burroway

June 27th, 2008

I mentioned earlier this morning that another anti-marriage amendment was introduced in the Senate. What I didn’t know was that these two upright paradigms of traditional “monogamous” heterosexual marriages were co-sponsors: Larry “Tap-Tap” Craig (R-ID), and David “D.C. Madam” Vitter (R-LA).

Of course, they’re only monogamous in that peculiar way in which heterosexuals define monogamy.

Honestly, you just can’t make this stuff up.

ADF’s “Homosexual Agenda” Looks Surprisingly Like Their “Heterosexual Agenda”

Jim Burroway

May 23rd, 2008

LGBT bloggers are having a field day over the Alliance Defense Fund’s “discovery” of the Homosexual Agenda. According to the ADF, the agenda looks something like this:ADF’s Homosexual AgendaWe did some digging around, and we managed to get a copy of the actual Heterosexual Agenda. Guess what? It looks surprisingly similar:Heterosexual AgendaThey may try to tell you there’s no such thing as a “Heterosexual Agenda,” but don’t you believe it.

[Hat tip: Pam Spaulding for the ADF's "Homosexual Agenda"]

Straight Convention Workers An Epicenter For Potentially Deadly Norovirus

Jim Burroway

May 10th, 2008

It was just last January when the San Francisco Chronicle stoked fears over a new “gay plague” in their article about methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MSRA), a bacterial staph infection that is resistant to certain antibiotics. An article published in the Annals of Internal Medicine documented an outbreak of MRSA in the Castro, which lead anti-gay activists to falsely accuse gay men of spreading MRSA from the gay community into the straight community. The only problem with that charge is that MRSA had been making its rounds among heterosexuals for several decades. Ironically, athletes are at particularly high risk.

The Chronicle headline that started that hysteria read:

S.F. gay community an epicenter for new strain of virulent staph

Today, San Francisco activist Michael Petrelis noticed that this morning’s Chronicle headline about an outbreak of a potentially deadly norovirus among straight workers is very different:

Moscone Center workers sickened by norovirus

San Francisco public health officials are warning of an outbreak of a virus that has sickened dozens of people at Moscone Center.

About 70 people who fell ill had been at the Moscone Center between April 30 and Thursday, authorities said Friday. All but three were staff members working at the convention center, said Moscone spokesman David Perry.

NorovirusMichael Petrelis observes that while the MRSA story in January hyped fears of a dreaded disease in the gay community infecting the “general population,” this story is being treated by some news outlets as a light-hearted, low-key tech story (this norovirus epidemic started during a JavaOne tech conference) aimed at calming fears rather than stoking them. He noticed that CNET’s coverage was downright adolescent:

To clarify, this is a virus that makes you barf and gives you diarrhea. It’s not the kind of virus that sends Viagra-pitching e-mails to all your friends or treats you to a Rick Astley sing-along every time you turn on your computer.

No, you won’t drop dead from it. Norovirus is better known as one of the viruses that causes a nasty stomach flu. Symptoms only last about a day or two, but it’s highly contagious. Just to up the gross-out factor: Norovirus is found in the fecal matter or vomit of people who are infected. If they don’t wash their hands properly, they spread it when they handle food or drinks.

What a difference. When it was gays coming down with MRSA, headlines screamed, “New Superbug Hitting Gay Men” or “Flesh-eating bug spreads among gays.” This time, it’s “Did you get infected? Virus runs amok amid JavaOne.”

The norovirus is passed exactly the same way as MRSA — by people who don’t wash up. And get this: fecal matter is a culprit. That detail is an anti-gay activist’s wet dream. I wonder when Matt Barber and Peter LaBarbera will exploit this latest danger coming from the heterosexual community.

[Hat tip: Michael Petrelis]

Focus On the Family’s Familiar New Logo

Jim Burroway

May 1st, 2008

Focus On the Family has finally retired its old, tired logo in favor of this new one:


Right away, I thought that logo looked familiar:

The Heterosexual Agenda

So there you have it: more evidence of their total embrace of their sinister agenda.

See also:
The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths

Heterosexual Incestuous Sex Slave

Timothy Kincaid

April 30th, 2008

fritzl.jpgIn the Box Turtle Bulletin’s The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths, Jim Burroway satirically illustrates how heterosexual militant activists are destroying society.

Here’s yet another example.

Josef Fritzl locked his 18 year old daughter in the basement so he could continue having sex with her… in 1984. She, and the children he subsequently fathered, have been there since. Upstairs, his wife never noticed.

Which all goes to show just why you can’t trust heterosexuals with marriage or children.

Heterosexual Agenda: Sex-Crazed Principal Targets Christian School Moms

Jim Burroway

April 18th, 2008

I wish I had the imagination to make stuff like this up, but I don’t. Thankfully, real life is good enough, and Houston’s ABC13 has the scoop in all of its trashy, hidden-camera glory:

The founder of a Christian school is confronted after 13 Undercover catches him soliciting sex from a parent, who’s trying to get her daughter a high school diploma.

LaVern JordanThat’s right. LaVern Jordon, founder of Parkway Christian School offered to allow a mother’s daughter to enter the private school. The mother had contacted the school after her daughter failed the state mandated TAKS test. But by paying a fee school and doing some some course work, students can graduate from Parkway Christian School without passing the required state test — which leaves one to wonder what Parkway’s accreditation status is.

But the most unique feature of Parkway Christian has to be its rather unique scholarship program:

Mother: “Yeah, what, I mean what, what, you gonna wipe out all the fees?”

Jordan: “All the enrollment fees.”

Mother: “All the enrollment fees?”

Jordan: “Three hundred dollars.”

Mother: “So you gonna wipe everything if me and you get together?”

Jordan: “The enrollment fee, yeah.”

Mother: “Ok.”

Jordan: “If you and I get together.”

Mother: “What you mean? I mean, what?

Jordan: “Excuse me and I don’t mean to be so blunt but I am talking about f—— you.”

Mother: “You talking about what?”

Jordan: “F—— you.”

But for $300, it’s not just a one time thing:

Jordan: “For the $300 I would expect maybe we could get together several times, you think?”

Mother: “Several times, whatcha mean several times?”

Jordan: “Well I don’t know, you might like whatcha getting.”

That’s one classy sweet-talking heterosexual. CitizenLink, Porno Pete, Concerned Women everywhere, are you watching?

The Heterosexual Menace

Jim Burroway

April 11th, 2008

So this is what happens when heterosexuals run amok and take over society — sex with underage girls in a “holy” temple:

The rules of the cult clearly continue to shock investigators, despite the legalese in the court documents describing their discoveries, including emphasis on sex with their underage wives.

The temple “contains an area where there is a bed where males over the age of 17 engage in sexual activity with female children under the age of 17,” according to a court affidavit, citing the confidential informant.

The temple marriage bed’s linens were mussed and had hair from a female, said the affidavit signed by Texas Ranger Leslie Brooks Long and unsealed Wednesday.

Obviously this is something that all decent human beings can quickly and strongly condemn. But can you imagine the outcry and furor that would come if this had been some sort of gay cult? Concerned Women, Porno Pete, the Family “Research” Council and CitizenLink would be all over this latest perversity.

But I looked over their web sites, and I was surprised to see not a single peep about the FLDS raids in Texas. I guess moral outrage is only useful when deployed against gay people. When it’s straight people doing it, there’s nothing but silence.

Which is odd, because isn’t same-sex marriage supposed to be the first step on a slippery slope to polygamy? Strange, because for some reason, the vast majority of people who want polygamy are not only straight, but are very hostile to gay people. And they molest young girls in their temples.

That’s quite a lovely agenda they got there. You can read more about the Heterosexual Agenda here.

Sex-Crazed Heterosexuals Defile Church Altar

Jim Burroway

March 22nd, 2008

Can you imagine the headlines over at Porno Pete’s if this couple had been a gay couple?

Police: Couple broke into church to have sex

SANDERSON, Florida — Deputies in Baker County arrested a couple caught having sex in a church.

Baker County Sheriff’s Deputies say they received a call about a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church, on the night of March 11th.

Deputies say they found a red Toyota pick-up truck and went inside the church.

“Her drawers [were] in the stands. Her brazier (sic) was over on the outside the stands,” Deacon Lonzie Altman recalled from his conversation with deputies.

According to the offense report, deputies found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar.

Rowland was taken into custody. She told deputies that Matthew Pearce, 28, was still inside.

Deputies found him underneath the church, partially dressed.

Red tea candles were also collected from the church. Deputies say there was splattered red wax all over the altar.

You know, every culture that has completely embraced heterosexuality has eventually come to an end. Is this a sign that ours is doomed?

Hat tip: Pam Spaulding.

Hetero Suburban Sex Club In Texas

Jim Burroway

December 7th, 2007

Here’s more evidence of the heterosexual menace that’s sweeping the nation:

The most popular address on Cedar Ridge Drive is Jim Trulock’s split-level home, which has a group sex room and attracts as many as 100 people to swinger parties featuring “Naked Twister” nights.

The Trulocks have been transforming their home on a quiet Duncanville, Texas street into “The Cherry Pit” every Friday and Saturday evening, and local officials fear that it may be placing a stain on the city just south of the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. Duncanville bills itself as “The Perfect Blend of Family, Community and Business.”

Duncanville officials are moving to ban sexually-oriented businesses inside the city limits, but the Trulocks plan to sue, saying their parties are private parties and not a business. And what a party it is:

“They have the largest hot tub in Dallas … a dance floor complete with stripper pole, a torture room … a group room with a giant frame with 6 full mattresses … and a semi-private room with three mattresses.”

Now I know Peter LaBarbera has been very keen to bust some of these parties wide open, now that he’s earned himself an appearance on Fox News showing his home movies of the Folsum Street Fair. Maybe he’d like to pack his camera and head down to Duncanville before the parties end. I happen to know for a fact that flights between Chicago and D/FW are cheap and frequent. If he can’t make the flight, then he might just head over to Club Meet4more in Chicago.

Oh, but it’s mostly heterosexuals. I guess he won’t be interested.

Cancer Linked to Oral Sex…

Timothy Kincaid

October 25th, 2007

… in heterosexuals.

According to the Colorado Springs Gazette, men who have oral sex with women can come into contact with the human papilloma virus (HPV) that causes cervical cancer in women.

Men probably obtain the virus by performing oral sex on women who have an HPV infection of the cervix. Ernster said the cancer could develop as late as 20 years after the oral sex occurred.

“Oral sex has implications that are way beyond what we first thought,” he said.

For a while, HPV was assumed to be benign – and it mostly is. But now it has been shown to be a contributer to a number of cancers. And while this observation is limited to oral sex among heterosexuals, it is likely that oral sex between men can also spread HPV.

Fortunately, there is now a recently-identified vaccine for HPV. Unfortunately, conservative activists have been fighting tooth and toenail to stop the broad vaccination of American school girls – they think it gives them permission to be promiscuous. Perhaps now that it can be shown to endanger men their objections may diminish.

The broad vaccination of all schoolchildren should be of great interest to the gay community as HPV has also been shown to play a factor in anal cancer in gay men.

The Heterosexual Agenda: Blood Sports

Jim Burroway

October 24th, 2007

Crazy heterosexuals. There’s just no telling what they’ll think of next:

Tiffany Lachelle Sutton, who turned 24 on Friday, apologized to the court Tuesday for stabbing her lover with a knife and drinking his blood.

Robert McDaniel, 45, and Sutton were lying in bed naked when Sutton asked McDaniel if he wanted to be tied up, and he consented, Tempe police reports stated. Sutton told police she made McDaniel sign a book promising not to prosecute her for when the “sex got crazy.”

“You, Robert McDaniel, swear that no wrong will come to me, Tiffany Lachelle Sutton, due to tonight’s events,” read the document, provided by the court. “You also pass me all your earthly powers, wealth included.”

Once she had his signature, Sutton pulled out a knife and cut his leg, court records show. McDaniel asked to be untied but Sutton refused and stabbed him in the back, neck, abdomen and through the arm.

Then she drank some of his blood.

Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

See also:
The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths

Words Have Consequences

Timothy Kincaid

September 24th, 2007

activists.jpgIn May we reported about Waymon Hudson and Anthony Niedwiecki, a couple that was startled to hear Scripture played over the Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood Airport calling for their death. Steve Rothaus, on a Miami Herald blog site, provides a follow-up on how the incident turned the men into activists.

Just a few days ago, we reported how Alan Chambers went to Florida to tell anti-gay activists that they were fighting an “evil agenda”.

Why do I list Chambers’ words of demonization (literally) here with Hudson and Niedwiecki? Because this is what Hudson tells us has happened in Florida since their experience:

”A woman came up to me [in Publix] and asked if she had seen me on the news,” Hudson said. “I said possibly. She looked at me right in the face and said, `You two deserve what that man said to you.’

”The next day I was at the gym,” Hudson said. ‘A large-size note that had `fag’ scrawled across it was stuck in my windshield. At that point I started to take side roads going home. It was a weird way to live. A few days later, a woman came up to me and spit in my face in the grocery store, with her 6-year-old son in hand.”

Can I prove that these vile people were in the audience at the Family Values Summit? No, of course not. But when you tell people that they are fighting against “evil”, you justify anything they do. All the “love the sinner” in the world won’t offset giving permission for cruelty and abuse.

The Heterosexual Agenda — Exposed!

Jim Burroway

October 1st, 2006

I have just completed and put online a new pamphlet called The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing The Myths. I hope you will find it both amusing and enlightening.

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